Second Chances
by 34G13
Summary: "And when the moment had passed, and Shepard felt senses returning to him, he felt a weight off his arm, his hand clutching something solid with a grip of death." Interaction between Tali/Shepard. Read the Writer's note for full details. SPOILERS! **Writer's Note updated 3/23/13
1. Writer's Note

Writer's Note

If you'll notice, I have passively skipped over the details to the ending of ME3. I did this because this is not meant to be an "alternate ending" story concerned with details of how exactly everything happened and such. The question addressed in this story is how interactions with Tali might continue if you had sided with the geth, but saved her from committing suicide.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy!

Update 3/23/13: With the addition of Part 6 and the Epilogue, Second Chances is officially completed. Thank you all for reading. I sincerely hope you have enjoyed the story as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

-34G13


	2. Part 1

Shepard had seen terrible things, sad things, horrifying things. He had watched as Ashley had died on Virmire. He had been there when Thane died in Huerta memorial. He watched the shroud explode, Mordin inside. With a little eavesdropping, he had even put together the fate of Joker's sister. To this day, he couldn't bring himself to tell the flight lieutenant, though Shepard thought Joker might suspect the worst, anyway.

Shepard knew more authority would come with tougher decisions as he climbed through the Alliance ranks. The things his superiors told him, getting him ready for "the day," that seemingly illusive moment when you would have to make _that_ decision. Just a few days ago, Admiral Hackett had mentioned something along those lines. Shepard had made tough calls, but he didn't feel that any decision he had made amounted to _that _decision.

Now, though, staring at the sky, watching the destruction of the quarian fleet rain onto the surface of Rannoch, Shepard knew he had just made _that _decision.

All he could do was stare in horror. He knew what his decision to let Legion upload the code would mean if the fleet wouldn't step down. In hindsight, he probably should have known Han'Gerrell was too stubborn to call off the attack. Would that have mattered, though? Would that have made a difference?

Now, there was just silence, and the occasional distant crash as wreckage collided with what had been so seemingly close to being the quarian home world again. Comm chatter had died out. The waves of the waters beneath them even seemed to have calmed.

Suddenely, one sound caught the commander's attention. A sound he had only heard a few times, but, nevertheless, a sound he had become fond of. A sound that evoked happy memories in the midst of the death and destruction of this war.

It was the suction seals around Tali's mask.

He turned just in time to see her turn around, her back to the view behind her, mask in hand, arms held out to her sides. Tears flowed like monsoons down her pale skin, her glowing eyes having seemingly gone dark, yet still shimmered from the reflection of tears.

Shepard could already sense her mentality. Before she had the chance to mutter a remorseful "I'm sorry," the Commander had taken off in a desperate sprint towards her, watching in terror as she fell back, each second taking her further and further over the cliff, further and further away from him. His life, _their life_, flashed through his mind, from meeting her for the first time on the citadel, the quarian who gave him the evidence he needed to stop Saren, though, there was still something about her, something else that drew him in. There was freedom's progress, and how, despite his utter confusion over his situation, he had felt comfort just by seeing her again, and fighting to reach her on Haestrom before the geth could get their hands on her, and her trial, _the trial,_ where he had fought so passionately and intensely against the admiralty board for the girl he apparently cared a great deal about before they had even revealed their mutual attraction...

Then, there were the few hours before they passed through the omega-four relay, the hours he spent with the nervous quarian girl, nervous about being outside her suit yet filled with passion and happiness with the moment. He remembered reaching for her mask, extending his arm towards the girl he cared about more than anything else in the world, the girl he couldn't stand to watch suffer, especially if it had been at his hand, one way or another.

He reached out, throwing himself forward with all his might, all the energy his exhausted body would allow, extending his arm as far as his sore muscles would let him, almost throwing himself over the cliff behind Tali, but impacting the ground just short, swinging his hand furiously off the ledge, grasping desperately for something, anything-

And when the moment had passed, and Shepard felt senses returning to him, he felt a weight off his arm, his hand clutching something solid with a grip of death.

* * *

Tali sat on the makeshift bed in the AI core, an empty shell of her former self. She had cried herself numb, though even if she could still muster emotion, her mind was so numb as well that she had given up on feeling anything. She simply sat, knees pulled up to her chest, head leaning against the wall, listening to the hum of the machinery that gave EDI her functionality.

For fear of psychological instability, the crew had not only locked the quarian in the AI core, but had also locked her out of her omni-tool. The thought had crossed her mind a few times, the thought of messing with the machinery, with the ship, with the crew that had done so much damage to her. Even if she had been able to, she wouldn't have; she still recognized the importance of fighting the reapers, saving others, even if her people hadn't survived.

Tali knew she was trapped in the small room, but she didn't _feel_ trapped. She had no desire to involve herself in any happenings, anyway. She wondered if she could starve herself to death just by sitting there, and it caused her to constantly feel incredibly weak, even though her failure to resist Chakwas force-feeding her nutrient paste through emergency ports kept her body nourished. Others had come and gone as well, some just standing there, some attempting to talk with her. She hadn't paid attention to any of them, though. She didn't care.

EDI would give Tali regular updates. She notified the quarian when they had reached the citadel after handing Rannoch over to the geth once and for all. Tali was notified when the Normandy departed for Thessia. She was alerted as to the condition of the planet; the heavy reaper forces on the surface. She was notifed when Shepard and the squad returned, having been defeated by Kai Leng. Then there was sanctuary.

There was Miranda's story, which EDI recited to the best of her knowledge.

Tali found this moving. Miranda's constant and unfailing attempts to resist her father finally paid off for her. When the odds were against her, she continued forth anyway, fighting to be free of her father's will. Somehow, Tali's mind triggered a connection between her and her father, how she had always tried to live up to him, to do something great in the hopes she might win his elusive affection. Even with the negative air surrounding those memories, Tali still couldn't help but feel a tingling of life in her limbs. She felt her heart pumping blood again, she became aware of her breathing as her mind still clung to hope of winning her dead father's approval.

Slowly, Tali hung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, feeling dizzy at first, but kept herself moving forward, one step at a time, each bringing new life into her exhausted frame. She kelt down when she reached the locked hatch that led to the maintenance shafts, pulling a knife out of a sheath hidden alongside her boot. It didn't take her long to pick the long, and in the same, slow manner, she made her way down the shaft and to engineering. After making sure no one was around, she crept into the engine room to her old console and began to type away, despite the lack of her omni-tool.

Adams was the first to return a few hours later. Tali didn't notice him until he greeted her, seemingly confused and mildly shocked. Tali's somber return seemed enough for him, though, and he, too, went back to work, just as Gabby and Ken when they returned. After a while, and many uses of her name to the ship's AI and superior officers, Tali decided that no one cared she had snuck off, and began a regular routine of sleeping in the engineering sub-deck and working in the engine room. Beyond that, her only contact with anyone else would be when she went to Dr. Chakwas for food, and soon, as her body regained full strength, that, too, stopped as she began to eat solid food once more.

There was a short lull in updates after Tali had snuck off from the AI core, but she figured EDI had simply stopped supplying her with updates. That thought lasted until a day when Tali was alone in enginnering. EDI informed her that the crew had located the illusive man's base, and would soon be mobilizing to take it out. This succeeded in making the quarian pause for a moment, remembering all the things that had come and gone in her life through Cerberus. Tali quietly thanked the AI before returning to work. It wasn't long until she was interrupted again by sliding doors behind her. She figured it was just one of the engineers, though in an effort to respect Tali's space since Rannoch, they didn't use the door on her side of the engine room. When Tali realized whoever had stepped in had stopped behind her, she placed her palms flat on the console and took a deep breath, waiting for him to say something. It seemed like an eternity before that moment came.

"We're launching an assault on the illusive man's base soon," the commander said. Shepard had been quite elusive himself. Tali realized she hadn't seen him since he locked her in the AI core.

"I know. EDI has kept me in the loop," She replied without turning around.

"Hackett says the scale of the assault will likely make it the first step in retaking Earth. The reapers will take notice of the amount of resources pretty quickly."

"I see." Tali listened to Shepard let out a deep sigh.

"I was hoping you might want to talk before this all begins."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Tali, we need you in this fight-"

"What more do you want from me, Shepard?" She said suddenly and violently, swinging around to face the commander. "I gave you my skills. I gave you my trust. I gave you my heart," She built, her voice quivering more and more with each brick.

"I gave you my people." There was silence as she hung her head, audibly crying. After a while, she turned back to her console and pulled in a deep, quivering breath.

"I'll see this through to the end, just like everyone else. Beyond that... I have nothing left to give you." Once again, silence followed, before the sound of a door opening preceded Shepard's fading footsteps.

The assault on Cronos Station came and went. Tali stood alongside the crew as the assault on Earth begun. She stared out the window of the starboard observatory, watching the fleets fire upon the reapers. Turian, Asari, Krogan, Volus... and Geth.

The Normandy broke ranks and descended to Earth. Tali followed the combat squad to the FOB set up by Anderson and assisted as she could. She listened to Shepard's final speech before he picked his squad and set off for the beam, then returned to the Normandy and the engineering room, where she worked quietly, with regular updates from EDI. Tali stood alongside the fearful crew with her own numb emotions as the Normandy entered Earth's atmosphere for an emergency evac run to pick up Garrus and Kaidan. She followed a squad to the cargo bay doors to help the injured Major inside, and for a moment, her eyes caught Shepard's, a longing and sorrowful "I'm sorry" beaming from them. Then, he turned and took off for the beam as the Normandy pulled away. Major Alenko, bloodied and bruised, took up his XO position in the CIC, and Tali stood by, monitoring the engines on a console around the galaxy map. She heard as Shepard made it into the Citadel. She heard when the arms opened. She heard when the crucible was armed. She heard when the order was given to withdraw, the Normandy without it's commander. Traynor and Kaidan walked to the cockpit, followed a few moments later by the lurch of the ship going FTL.

There was the crash on the unknown planet, and there were the repairs that took a few days. Tali stood by in the CIC, monitoring her shaky engine repair as the Normandy lifted once more, then took off into space. She stood by when the first comm hub was reached and listened as the Major conversed with Admiral Hackett. She listened as Hackett told Kaidan they had no word from Shepard or the citadel. She hung her head, almost evoking an emotion from herself, knowing the mindset of the rest of the crew. She watched as the Major placed the commander's name on the memorial wall, and even then she hung her head with sympathy for everyone else.

Later that same evening, when almost everyone had left the CIC for the night, Tali remained, monitoring through her passive console, having become somewhat fond of the position by the galaxy map. The door to the war room slid open, and Tali lifted her eyes briefly enough to note Kaidan exiting, taking up a position on the opposite side of the map. Not a minute after, the intercom broke the silence.

"Major? We've got a priority transmission from Admiral Hackett."

"Put it though to the CIC," Kaidan said, rushing up to the perch.

"Major Alenko? We've got some news for you," came the admiral's voice.

"Tell me it's something good, sir," Kaidan replied.

"We found him. And he's alive."


	3. Part 2

3 Years Later

Shepard cursed quietly to himself as he trudged through the woods. He still couldn't get used to having a bummed knee, but the doctors had told him, and he had agreed, that it was a small price to pay for coming out of that war alive.

Things had almost come back to full swing on Earth. Some cities still needed more repair work done, but for the most part, clean up had ended and the planet was in repair and rebuild mode. Shepard hadn't cared much for the effort. It was ironic, even to him, that as hard as he had fought for the opportunity, he hadn't really felt a desire to participate in the normal routines once the war had finally ended. He had too much on his mind; more specifically, one big thing, the reason why he kept slipping on wet, dead growth in these cursed woods.

Finally, though, he reached the top of the hill he had been climbing, and in a small clearing, offering a view of most of the surroundings, sat Tali, her knees pulled up to her chest, looking out over the scenery.

For a moment, he simply stood and stared at her. He had come all this way to find her, worked so hard to track her down, prepared speeches, thoughts, everything he could, but now that she was in sight, he couldn't take action on any of it. All he could remember was watching wreckage fall through the atmosphere on Rannoch, looking up at the sky in much the same way Tali was now.

"Shepard," She said, sounding ever so slightly surprised. She stood and walked slowly towards him, leaving a good 5 or 6 feet of distance when she stopped. "How did you find me?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"You aren't as subtle as you think, probably on account of your knee." Shepard gave her a confused look, not having remembered seeing her while he was in the hospital. "I came once or twice. You were asleep both times. I talked with the nurses."

"You could have woken me up. I wouldn't have minded."

"The hospital... wasn't the place. Plus, I couldn't be sure of your mindset, being through everything you had been through..." there was a pause. "But, that brings me back to my question. How did you find me?"

"Before I left you all... before I ran off to the beam, I asked Kaidan to keep an eye on you. Let's say he went a little beyond what I wanted him to do. He knows you've been coming here just about every day."

"I see," Tali said softly.

"I... just wanted to make sure you stayed safe." Tali cradled her arms.

"Alright. I would ask _why_ you're here... but I think I know the answer to that one."

"One way or another, I want to clear the air. Figure out where we stand."

"I'm not sure I'm ready," Tali said softly, looking away.

"I understand. I can go," Shepard said.

"I... would rather you didn't," Tali said hesitantly.

"I don't want to push you."

"You aren't." She turned and took a few steps towards the edge of the cliff. "I've been trying to keep all this down for too long. Simply numbness made it easy for a while, but... sensation... has been returning for the past year or so." She turned back to Shepard. "I need to face this."

"Alright." They stood in silence for a moment. "Any idea where to start?" Shepard asked, taking a few steps toward Tali, joining her at her side before she was able to speak. She turned to take up Shepard's stare into the scenery.

"You... effectively signed the death warrant for my people," she said slowly and softly.

"Gerrel wouldn't stand down."

"No. That's not it," she said, a sudden fire in her voice. "You could have kept Legion from uploading that code. You could have stopped it. You could have killed it, kept the geth from wiping out the fleet! Don't try to put this on Gerrel."

"Tali, that's the reality of it. The geth retaliated because the fleet attacked them. They defended themselves."

"Shepard, you were my captain. You were... _more_ than my captain. I trusted you to make that decision with the interest of the fleet, with the interest of the seventeen million quarians that were so close to seeing the home world!" She turned away and began to pace. "Maybe it was foolish of me. Maybe I shouldn't have stuck to quarian instincts. I couldv'e killed Legion myself, saved my people. At least then, if they had still all died somehow, the few that were left wouldn't see me as the worst traitor in quarian history!" She almost shouted at this point.

"You aren't, Tali."

"Excuse me," she said, curling her fingers into fists. "_Associated _with the worst traitor in quarian history. You keep saying the geth were just defending themselves, but so were my people. The geth threatened us, drove us from our home world. _Of course_ we fought to get it back! And now it doesn't even matter because the geth are dead, too!"

"So then why don't you go back to Rannoch? Search for other survivors?"

"_Are you serious?!" _Tali spat in a fit of rage. "Have you been listening? Do you know what they would do to me?"

"From what I understand, most of them didn't want the war. I'm sure they would understand."

"_No!"_ Tali shouted, spinning violently to face Shepard, yanking a pistol from her belt. "They would put me on trial! I might be the first quarian ever to be executed!" She took a few aggressive steps toward the former commander as she spoke, letting the barrel of her pistol convey her intensity. "All because I trusted you! They are _all _dead because I trusted you!"

"I understand how you feel, Tali. Shooting me won't bring anyone back, though." There was silence as the gun trembled in Tali's hand, itching to work it's justice.

"No. It won't," she said softly, before lowering it, ejecting the thermal clip, and then throwing it as hard as she could at Shepard. Having not expected the action, he had no time to react before the slide struck him right under his right eye, causing him to stumble back before tripping backwards over an entanglement of growth. He hit the ground hard, both hands clamoring to the new wound on his face.

"And that _will _bring them back?" Shepard shouted.

"No," Tali replied, moving to his side. "But it made me feel better." She stood over him for a moment, watching with a seeming pleasure, before she reluctantly held out her hand, which Shepard glared at with distrust.

"Please," she said almost regretfully. Slowly, Shepard pulled a hand from his face and took Tali's hand, pulling himself back up to his feet. Tali pulled his other hand away, revealing a smeary mess of blood across his right cheek. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a cloth, placed it over the wound, then placed his hand over the cloth. The quarian then turned back to the edge of the cliff, staring out at the horizon.

"I can't go back," she said, her voice beginning to quiver. "My home among the stars is gone. My home upon the ground no longer welcomes me." She sniffed and looked up to the sky. "I've never felt so... alone, Shepard."

"How many quarians do you think are still out there?"

"I don't know."

"Think. Come up with something." Tali sighed heavily.

"There were always colonies of ships that dissented from leadership, but I don't know how many of them there were. On top of that, there were a few ships that Koris couldn't convince to rejoin the fleet after you saved him. Other than that... Just ones that didn't return from their pilgrimage. And whatever number that leaves you with is probably still reduced because of the reapers."

"That could amount to a somewhat sizable number."

"Yes. It could." She turned to Shepard in frustration. "What does this matter?"

"Tali, since I met you, the priority in your mind has always been the well being of your people, your duty to them, the greater good. You would have let yourself be exiled to protect the integrity of the fleet. You would have let them call you a war criminal if it meant keeping them in strength. My question is, what has changed?"

"Shepard, if you're seriously asking that question, I have done something wrong here."

"Yes. You have. You're being selfish." Tali took a hesitant step back, like she had just been pushed.

"_I am being selfish?!" _She said, incredible disbelief emanating from her tone.

"_Yes!" _Shepard shouted in response, turning to face her. "You're worried about what they're going to think of you if you return. The Tali I know wouldn't give a damn! She'd show up and figure out how she can best help that society. If _they_ decided it was best she leave? Only then would she actually do it. But even still, she'd be actively looking for ways to help the society that shunned her. She would still do everything within her power for those people, regardless of what they thought of her. _That _is the Tali I know, the Tali that would _want _to go back to Rannoch, the Tali that would be dying, sitting here on Earth, worried to death about the well being of the surviving members of her people!" Having said all that in one breath, Shepard paused to catch himself, both in speech and emotion.

"You are not that Tali. You are not the Tali that I fell in love with, the incredible selflessness, the youthful energy, ready to make whatever sacrifices necessary for the good of your people..." Shepard stopped and looked away, tears beginning to push from behind his eyes. "Damn it, to have that Tali back... the Tali I haven't had since I made that regretful decision on Rannoch... Even if I couldn't have her back, her people would benefit greatly from having her back. One way or another, I know she would make their lives better." He turned to face Tali once more. "So my question remains. _What changed?_"

Tali had long turned her back in shame and disbelief. She desperately wanted to lash out at Shepard, to give him the verbal beating of his life, to emphasize all the times he had screwed up, which were more than she could count as they flooded into her head, making her resistance all the more impossible. She held herself by the thinnest filament imaginable, though she couldn't turn to face Shepard. They simply stood there in silence.

"I... I need to think," She finally said, though she still didn't turn to face Shepard. This was followed by more silence as Shepard attempted to calm himself down as well.

"I'll drive you back into the city if you like. It's getting late, anyway."

"Thank you." The two of them trudged back through the forest as the daylight faded. Tali still kept herself a distance behind Shepard, an act that the former military officer couldn't blame her for. She also hesitated slightly before entering the vehicle once they reached it, but eventually took up a place in the front passenger's seat. Shepard started the car, and they took off in silence back towards the city skyline.

* * *

_No... Surely it was just the dream, _Shepard thought to himself, lying back onto his pillow. Three loud bangs had pulled him out of a rather restless state of sleep, if you could even call it sleep. He had just been lying in bed, eyes closed, for most of the night since he had gone to bed at ten, unwilling to accomplish anything else after his conversation with the distressed quarian.

But there they were again. Three more loud knocks.

_Alright... not a dream. Who the hell is at the door at 4 in the morning? _Shepard thought, pulling himself out of bed and over to the closet, throwing on a white shirt and a pair of track pants. He proceeded out the bedroom and to the door, but not before three more loud and almost frantic knocks echoed through the apartment. Shepard hit the door control not a second after the last knock, revealing a purple-shawled quarian bouncing on her toes and wringing her fingers together furiously.

"I'm sorry," she said softly after seeing the exhaustion on Shepard's face. "I thought, maybe, you might not be asleep."

"Well, if it wasn't important, you wouldn't have come, I assume."

"No. Well, yes. I mean... it's important," she stuttered, shaking her head in embarrassment over the nervousness of her words. "I was hoping, maybe... I could come in."

"Yeah," Shepard said with a sigh, stepping to the side to let her through.

"Are you sure? I could come back later... I don't want to bother you."

"Tali, you're already here, and I'm already up. You might as well say what you came to say." There was a moment of hesitation from the quarian.

"Alright," she said, stepping through the door of the apartment, her head held low.

"I'm sorry," Shepard said, shutting the door behind her. "I don't mean to snap at you. I haven't slept well in longer than I can remember."

"Really?" She said, following Shepard to the kitchen, where he began to mess with a coffee maker. "I thought you'd be sleeping wonderfully since the end of the war."

"No." Shepard's motions stopped. He lowered the cup of water he had been pouring into the machine and stared off into space for a moment. "I've seen too much. Things I'll never forget. Not even now." Slowly, he resumed the task at hand.

"I'm sorry," Tali said softly.

"You seem like you may know how lack of sleep feels."

"A little too well." The quarian shook her head while turning towards a window, looking out on the New York skyline. "No. I haven't slept well in a while, either. Though, unlike you... It's just one thing."

"Perhaps you're more like me than you think."

"Shepard, you were right," Tali said, abruptly breaking the thought. "I am being selfish."

"I was a little harsh. You deserved to be selfish for a while."

"Maybe. But I've been selfish for three years. It's been more than a while." She paused as she turned back to Shepard. "I need to go back."

"But...?" he asked, sensing hesitation.

"...I'm... scared," She said, beginning to twist her fingers again.

"That's understandable."

"I need to go, I know I do... but I'm still afraid of what they will think of me." Shepard thought for a moment, watching the pot of coffee finish its cycle.

"Perhaps... You would let me accompany you." Tali, who had turned to the window once again, snapped her head back to Shepard.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"You may be right. They may think you're a traitor. The least I could do would be to dispel any false accusations. I'll tell them myself, it was my decision, not yours." Tali's head drifted back to the window. Shepard sensed he hadn't really comforted her, noted by her persistent finger-wringing. Slowly, he walked over to her and gently but confidently took one of her hands.

"But then again, we don't know what their mindset may be. Maybe they heard you try to call off Gerrel. Maybe they understand. We don't know, and we won't know until we get to Rannoch."

"How long have you thought about this, Shepard? You seem awfully set on coming with me all of a sudden."

"Can you be more specific?"

"Being with me on Rannoch. Being with me on the home world." Shepard sighed, releasing the quarian's hand and pacing to the other side of the room.

"I had always hoped it would be under better circumstances," he started. "But it's been on my mind since that one night before we took on the collectors."

A slight tingling in her chest made Tali scratch at it. It was a tingling she hadn't felt for some time, one that revived old memories, happy memories. She felt a tear in the corner of her eye but quickly yanked it back, wanting to keep her composure.

"Alright," she said. "You can come."

"Had you thought about when you want to leave?"

"As soon as I could. I don't have a lot of money, but the plan was to save up and try to find a civilian vessel, or find a ship I can book passage on... I don't know."

"How soon could you be ready?" Shepard asked, turning back to her.

"As soon as I needed to be," she said hesitantly. "Why?"

"I can call in some favors from guys in the Alliance. I could find us our own ship. We could be out of here within the week." The girl's bioluminescent eyes almost increased in intensity.

"Really? I mean... are you sure?" She said, trying to mask excitement as she stepped towards Shepard.

"Yeah. I'll let you know when I've got arrangements made."

"Thank you, Shepard," she said, only now realizing that she was standing a little too close to him. She looked up, locking her fingers together, frozen in the awkward situation for what seemed like forever before the former commander wrapped his arms around her. For a moment, she couldn't move, having forgotten what his embrace felt like, the warmth and comfort of his presence. She felt monsoons of emotions flooding her body. She had been so mad at Shepard, but now, she felt the comfort, the trust returning in her mind. Slowly, she lifted her arms and returned the embrace, before the two of them pulled away after what might have been a bit too long.

"I... there's one other thing," Tali begun. "I have the data and the coordinates and flight path to Tikkun and all... but I was never labeled 'psychologically ready' before I left the Normandy. My omni-tool is still locked." Shepard gave her a stare of disbelief.

"How have _you_ gotten by without an omni-tool for three years?"

"It was a little difficult at times, especially when working in engineering. I found ways around it though, and I haven't really had a use for it since I left the military." She stared down at her arm. "It just contains a bunch of old data and memories, really."

"In that case, are you sure you want it unlocked?" She remained silent, continuing to stare sorrowfully at her arm.

"Yes. I need to face it. It will provide... a little closure." Shepard took a few steps towards the quarian and brought up his own omni-tool. He punched in a sequence that made Tali's appear before his disappeared.

"May I?" he said to the girl, who held out her arm. He punched in another sequence, which was followed with an upbeat beeping.

"There you go."

"Thank you. I suppose... I have something to do now while I wait for your call."

"Take it slow," he said, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Don't burn yourself out with emotions again. Give yourself a chance to process everything."

"Right," she said.

"Give me a few days. I'll be in touch, Tali." She nodded before heading to the door. Shepard opened it for her, and she continued out down the hall without looking back.


	4. Part 3

The elevator ascended quickly through the levels of the Alliance Navy docking bay, looking out over the Atlantic Ocean on the Western side of Long Island. In it stood Shepard, Tali, and quite a bit of luggage.

"What did you say the name was?" Tali asked, trying to start conversation. Shepard could see she was masking nervousness.

"The Orion."

"And you said it was like the Normandy?"

"No. I said it was a frigate-class ship, like the Normandy. It's about as small as frigates come. The design conception is somewhat the same to the effect that the idea was to built a ship with the best available technology, but the tech is completely human."

"What about the design? What does it look like?" Shepard laughed and shook his head.

"You'll see."

The transport stopped, leaving the two of them clamoring for their bags as the doors patiently awaited their departure. Finally, they stepped out and walked down the hall to docking bay 32. They proceeded through the security checkpoint before stepping into an empty loading area. Tali froze at the first view of the ship.

"They... they just _gave_ you this?" She asked.

"I was hoping for something like a Kodiak. Somehow, Hackett got a hold of my request. I didn't even know until I picked up the title last night." The two stood there for a moment, admiring the sight in front of them.

"We don't have more crew members, do we? Are we enough to fly this?" Tali asked.

"There's not much to monitor. Between the two of us, I think we can manage that. I'm sure that you're more than familiar enough with engine systems to keep them in check."

"I... I don't..." Tali seemed to be struggling between disbelief and a lack of confidence in herself. Finally, she just hung her head, letting out a deep sigh. "If you say so."

"Well... shall we?" Shepard said, holding his arm out to gesture Tali forward.

"Oh... right," She replied, shaking her head before continuing forward. They entered inside through the airlock on the port side of the ship, leading them into a small hallway. To the left was the cockpit. Instead of one helmsman's seat, there were two pilot's seats on either side, separated down the middle by the galaxy map and ship display console. To the right, the hallway lead to a fork in the hall, with either continuation of the path leading to the monitoring and combat station room. Towards the back of the wall that curved upward, a set of doors kept a stairway to the small cargo bay and armory hidden from plain sight. On the front side of the room, between the two paths leading in, another set of doors opened to a small deck with a ladder on each side, leading down to a small engine compartment that sat above the cargo bay.

Back on deck one, off to the right but before the fork in the hall were two rooms on either side, one being the crew's quarters and the other being the captain's.

"I've been told the crew's quarters were converted into a single bedroom," Shepard said. "So... do you have a preference as to side?"

"Well, I'm no captain," Tali said, taking note that the doors to the captain's quarters were still branded as such. "I'll take the crew room." The two separated to put their things into their respective rooms. Shepard emerged first and went to the cockpit, sitting in the left pilot's seat. He began to scroll through systems, checking statuses and diagnostics before pulling up the registry information. There was the ship name, the serial number, manufacturer, and the owner. He couldn't help but smile when he saw his name listed. His attention was suddenly diverted when he heard Tali enter the room.

"It's... very similar to the Normandy," she said softly.

"It's apparently an aesthetics thing," Shepard replied. "You know. They did research and such." Tali stayed silent as she sat down in the open seat, staring out the window across the Atlantic Ocean.

"Hey," Shepard said, getting her to turn towards him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Tali sat very close to the edge of her seat, back straight, wringing her fingers together almost maddeningly.

"Yes. I'm sure."

"Alright. You have the destination info."

"Right," Tali replied, bringing up her omni-tool. The ship display was soon replaced with an image of the galaxy, which zoomed in to the Perseus Veil, Tikkun, and finally Rannoch. A red indicator encircled the planet, flagged with the words "destination set."

"We're good to go," Tali said, forcing herself back into her seat. Shepard began to hit a few buttons before opening a comm link.

"Alliance Control, this is Orion, requesting departure clearance from bay 32," He said. Tali felt goosebumps crawl across her skin. Something about the officiality surrounding arrival and departure sequences always excited her. Perhaps it was just this one instance, though, or the implication of what they were leaving to do.

"Stand by for clearance, Orion," came back through the link. They sat for a moment, awaiting a reply.

"Orion, you are cleared for departure." Red lights above the center console turned green.

"Tali, would you like to check the engine systems?"

"Oh... of course," she said, sitting up and putting her hands to the console in front of her. She began to type away and swipe windows left and right. "System diagnostics are green."

"Starting up," Shepard said, hitting a few holographic buttons to his left. The humming of the engines and the slight vibrations of the systems alerted the two that the engines had come to life.

"Exhaust looks good. Electrical systems are green. Drive core buildup is below minimal. We're good to go, Commander." Shepard looked over to Tali, who was already shaking her head. "Sorry... Shepard."

"Prepare for takeoff." Shepard hit a button below the docking clearance indicator, sending a shudder throughout the ship as the magnetic locks released their hold on the hull. The Orion hovered outward as Shepard pointed her out over the ocean, then up to the sky. He put his fingers down on a display to his left, and as he moved them forward, the speed of the ship increased, taking them out of Earth's atmosphere and into the void of space.

* * *

It had been a few hours since the Orion had passed through the Caleston Rift, now headed towards the Phoenix Massing, where they would make their last relay jump to the Perseus Veil. Tali and Shepard had barely spoken with each other, save to share ship information and some occasional small talk along the lines of "the [society closest to the last place we stopped] seems to be doing [well/not so well]." Other than that, the two had worked out a shift system in which one would man the cockpit while the other got some rest. Both of them had become restless, however, the building tension of silence between them only fueling the insomnia that kept them out of bed. They both wanted to talk to the other, they both wanted the companionship the other had to offer, but for their own reasons they wouldn't take action. Shepard wanted to give Tali space, feeling he may be a constant reminder of the things she was dealing with. Tali was still struggling with trust and forgiveness, questions of how she should handle her relationship with Shepard raging through her head.

Tali sat in the cockpit one night, staring up out the window at the stars passing by and the fluctuations the ship stirred up during relay travel. She had been fiddling with her hands for hours, having gotten bored of trying to optimize engine output.

"_I _have gotten _bored _of it," She said out loud to herself. _And now I'm talking to myself!_

The loneliness was driving her insane but she hadn't resolved her conflict yet. She still didn't know how close she should let herself get to the man who ruined her life.

_He's trying, though. That has to count for something... right?_ She sat up and hunched over, resting her elbows on her knees, staring at the floor beneath her. After pondering for a moment, she forced herself to get up and walk the short distance down the hall to the captain's quarters.

_A simple, friendly conversation. That's all. There's no harm in that. _Slowly, she raised her hand to the door, curling it into a fist. She pulled it back and allowed it three soft knocks before she yanked it back down to her side. What seemed like an eternity passed before Shepard came to the door.

"Hey, Tali. What's up?" He said, a hint of exhaustion, but not sleepiness, in his voice.

"I... was just wondering if you might be awake."

"Yeah. For way too long," Shepard replied longingly. "...Is that it?"

"No... but... I just thought..." Tali couldn't stop from stuttering through her words. The sight of her finger-wringing made Shepard's hands hurt. He reached out and grabbed both of her smaller hands in one of his, making her look up at him. Slowly, he let go before he turned and gestured the quarian to come in. She took a few hesitant steps, stopping awkwardly by the window.

"You're welcome to sit," Shepard said, holding his hand out towards the couch beside his bed.

"Thanks," Tali said, though she still didn't sit until Shepard had.

"Have you been sleeping?" he asked.

"No. I... there's too much to worry about."

"I'm sorry."

"It's... yeah." She had almost let herself slip, almost told him it was alright. "Look, maybe I should... Maybe this was..." She stood up and walked almost all the way to the door before she stopped herself. She turned back around and began pacing as she spoke.

"I... this loneliness is driving me crazy, Shepard. You're here, but you're not here and I don't even know how I should feel about you, if I should trust you, if I should forgive you, you killed my people but everything you do, looking after me, looking after everyone else, caring for me, coming with me, I can't say you're a bad person, and-" Shepard had stood up behind her back and surprised her when she turned back around.

"Tali, slow down," He said, putting his hands on her shoulders. She looked into his eyes for a moment, his bright, strong yet concerned eyes, before she broke into tears, wrapping her arms around him. Shepard held on to her as she cried, wishing there was something more he could do to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away after a while. "I came here... just wanting a friendly conversation." Shepard led her back over to the couch where they sat back down.

"If that's what you told yourself, then maybe you've already solved your problem."

"I don't know, Shepard. There's... there's still too much."

"You say that, but you sound like you've already made up your mind."

"Maybe. Maybe I just needed to cry. I was sick of feeling... lonely."

"I've been trying to give you space. If I'd known you were going insane..."

"It's... it's alright. I've gotten through a lot. Memories, pictures, old messages... things I've been able to put behind me. At least, somewhat." She paused and sniffled a bit. "At some point... I guess I needed someone to talk to, though."

"Something on your mind?" Tali lifted her eyes to the window, the reflection of the stars dancing against her visor.

"No. Not now."

"Maybe that's an answer as well," Shepard responded, a hint of sorrow in his voice. There was silence between the two of them.

"What about you?" Tali asked, making her best attempt at a cheerful voice. Shepard had been reading and typing on a data pad, and when she asked, it made him stop and stare for a moment. Tali could tell there was something on his mind. He looked over to her, into her glowing eyes that had never seemed to glow as bright since that one moment on Rannoch, yet they were still as transparent as they had always been to him, glowing with a powerful longing for what she had lost. Shepard could tell she wanted to trust him, but she was just too emotionally distraught to do so. He looked back and leaned forward in his seat, placing his data pad on the coffee table in front of him.

"My parents died in the assault on Earth," he said softly. Tali heard an expression of pain that she had never heard uttered so sincerely from the man. He stood and moved to a position in front of the window, staring out into the vast expanse, but not seeing any of it.

"One ship was destroyed trying to delay a group of reapers that had broken off once we neared the beam. The other was destroyed defending the crucible."

Tali couldn't say anything. She realized that she hadn't taken two seconds to care about anything Shepard had to say since he had come back to see her. Here he was, trying to make things right with her while she was utterly unsure whether she could ever forgive him, all while dealing with his own pains. Tali knew she could justify it easily, but she wouldn't forgive herself for trying to justify such a lack of care on her part.

"Hackett told me while I was in the hospital, toward the end of my stay. Not many people came to see me between then and when I was discharged. Soon after, I resigned from the Alliance, moved to that apartment in New York, just trying to get away from it all." He paused, looking away from the stars he hadn't been looking at. "It's... part of the reason I haven't been sleeping." He turned and walked toward the bed, sitting close to Tali who still sat on the couch.

"I haven't had a whole lot of friends around. Probably my own fault, but... I just haven't had a whole lot of people to talk to. I haven't had a whole lot of people I've _wanted_ to talk to. The result was a whole bunch of sleepless nights... and a hole in my thoughts, in my life... in my heart." He paused, looking up to Tali. "You were gone. My parents were gone. The only thing that had any worth in my life, the Alliance... I couldn't stand to think about them anymore. The thought of throwing _myself_ off a cliff crossed my mind once or twice. I was going crazy from my own loneliness, life was becoming a haze, every day was blurring together... Until one moment of sudden clarity. Clarity... on top of a cliff, in the woods... staring at you." He stood up, walking back over to the window. "I know I've asked for a lot from you, Tali. I wouldn't blame you for one second if you never forgave me. But... I don't have a whole lot else if I don't have you." Tali stood and walked to his side as he spoke. "I know that's incredibly selfish... but for whatever it's worth, I regret that decision." Shepard felt an arm slipping underneath his left arm, wrapping itself around his waist, a figure beckoning for the warmth of his own arm. Slowly, he raised it around the quarian's shoulder.

Together, the two of them stood, staring out at the stars, but not seeing any of them.


	5. Part 4

Shepard woke, feeling extremely disoriented and confused. His mind couldn't pull any kind of relevant information as to where he was, why he was there, or anything else. On top of that, an incessant beeping was starting to give him a headache.

He tried sitting up, but was inhibited by a weight on his chest. He looked down to find a purple shawl in his face, and to the right of that, a three-fingered hand resting on his chest. His mind struggled through the sight, but slowly, he connected the two thoughts. It was Tali's head and hand he saw as she slept soundly beside him. She wasn't pressed as close as she could possibly be to Shepard, but she seemed just close enough to be comfortable.

_We must have fallen asleep, _Shepard thought. Once again, though, his mind was pulled back to the beeping that assaulted his ears. He looked down to his omni-tool, seeing a flashing light. Not wanting to disturb the quarian by moving his left arm, which was wrapped around her shoulder, he pulled his hand up to his face, tapping it on his forehead. The display came up, revealing their flight path and their current location- almost on top of the Perseus Veil.

"Oh, shoot," Shepard said out loud, suddenly forgetting his companion.

"Hm... what's wrong?" She said groggily, lifting her head.

"We're about to come out of relay travel." This caught her attention, and the disturbed quarian now seemed fully alert.

"You mean... into..."

"Into the Veil." Tali raised her head enough to be able to look down into Shepard's eyes. For a moment, they stared silently at each other.

"Keelah... I had... forgotten what sleep felt like," Tali said softly.

"Yeah, me too," Shepard replied. After a moment more of staring, Tali pushed herself off the Orion's pilot.

"We should probably get to the cockpit."

"Yeah..." Shepard replied. For a moment, he remained on the bed, not wanting to leave the temporary comfort he had found. Eventually, though, he forced himself up, turning to Tali and offering his hand.

"Thank you," she said, taking it and pulling herself up. Together, they walked out of the captain's quarters and to the cockpit.

"Two minutes to exit," Shepard said as he sat. "Systems look good?"

"Green across the board."

"One minute to exit."

Tali was grateful for the few hours of sleep she had gotten. She had begun to think she might have driven herself insane with her rampant thoughts if she hadn't found a way to distract herself. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt refreshed and awake, and for a few moments, her mind had even been somewhat clear. Knowing that they were about to enter the Veil, though, knowing they were about to enter her home system, and not long after, they would make it to Rannoch- this brought flurries of thoughts back to her mind, but one in particular. She turned her head just enough so that she could lay both eyes on Shepard.

"Thirty seconds," he said, swiping through various holographic displays, getting the systems ready for non-relay FTL travel once again.

The two of them had been living in their own little world since Shepard had come to find her. Sure, they had talked through their issues, but returning to Rannoch would invoke an entirely different mindset. It was one thing for Tali to struggle with her tentative acceptance of the former commander _without_ the influences of being back on her home world, _without _the influence of whatever might be left of quarian society. Somewhere in her heart, she hoped she would be able to fully forgive Shepard, but returning to Rannoch seemed like it might be throwing up an iron curtain against that possibility. She thought about asking him to turn around, to go back to Earth, where perhaps she could come to terms with herself, where perhaps they could just live happily for the rest of their lives, but then she remembered Shepard calling her selfish, how it made her feel, then and now, every time she relived the conversation, the fury and bitter shame it brought across her, the shame of abandoning her people completely. She faced two forces pulling with incredible strength in entirely opposite directions. On one side, there were her people, where her loyalty had sat so whole-heartedly before the man who sat so close to her destroyed them. On the other, there was Shepard, the man that, despite the circumstances, had treated her with more respect than even her own people at times. She thought about the admirals, how Raan seemed to be the only one that gave consideration to any of Tali's thoughts, and even that was a rarity.

"Ten seconds."

Tali knew choosing one would likely mean giving up the other. The realization pushed tears to her eyes, knowing she was running out of time, one way or another.

"Exiting relay travel." The hum of a relay-powered drive core was cut abruptly as the stars around them stopped moving. Out the front window, toward the center of the system, could be seen the faint, far-off light from Tikkun.

For a moment, the Orion continued to drift forth while Shepard and Tali checked diagnostics and systems.

"Flight systems are good," Shepard said.

"Engines and critical systems are green," Tali said in reply. "Drive core buildup is slightly more than negligible."

The two sat in silence for a moment, staring out the front windows, before Shepard placed his fingers on the panel to his left, sliding them back, causing the ship to come to a stop.

"Last chance," he said, looking over to Tali. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Tali looked to Shepard, then back out to the only star that had caught her sight since they had left Earth. Her eyes dropped to the floor. It seemed like an eternity before she spoke.

"Yes." Shepard sighed, trying to feel sympathetic for the distressed girl. Slowly, he placed his fingers back on the thrusters, then slid them up to full speed.

"Entering FTL. ETA to Rannoch... Not long." Tali felt the lurch as the ship jumped to speed. She had thought she might be excited to see the home world again. She had thought it might bring back _something _happy, if not for the fact that it was her home world. None of those feelings came to her, though. She found herself utterly unable to lift her eyes from the floor.

* * *

It wasn't long before their destination came into view of the long-range scanners. As soon as he could, Shepard set them to work, trying to find any signs of life near Rannoch. The results returned gave him an odd mix of feelings. While the scanners hadn't detected any organic life, they also hadn't picked up the mass wreckage Shepard had dreaded coming upon for Tali's sake. Though he was somewhat relieved by this, it also confused him. The geth hadn't had _that_ long to do any clean-up jobs, so if that was the case, why did they decide to spend their time in such a manner instead of ship repairs or construction of more hardware?

"One minute to exit," Shepard said, glancing at Tali. The quarian looked tense, having pushed herself as far back into her seat as she could, head down, arms wrapped around her waist. He thought about asking her to check the systems, but he decided whatever she was thinking was more important at the moment. Shepard turned his attention back to the scanners, hoping they might pick something up before they arrived.

_Thirty seconds, _he thought to himself. The last time they'd come out of FTL over Rannoch, they'd dropped right into the middle of a massive naval war. Shepard realized that memory was making him tense as well. He wondered if it was translating to Tali, or if she was even thinking about him whatsoever. He took one last look over to her, the statuesque form that was utterly unchanged.

"Exiting." Momentum stopped as Rannoch shot into view in front of the Orion, suddenly occupying the recently empty expanse of space. Tali lifted her head to examine while Shepard started surface scanners. Once she realized what he was doing, Tali's silent and undivided attention turned to him. He stared for a moment, waiting for the scanners to begin returning something. It seemed like an eternity before a feed began to scroll across a display to his right, and even longer after that before Shepard gave any sort of reaction to the information.

"It's picking up signs, but they're too far and few to rule out organic life," he said softly. "I'm not seeing anything that resembles civilization of any sort." Tali looked back out the window at the planet in front of them.

"Try the comms," She said. Shepard looked over to the girl staring lustfully out the front window before he brought up a comm channel.

"Rannoch, this is Orion, broadcasting to all frequencies. Does anyone read?" The two waited for a moment, staring out the front window at the planet in front of them. Their anticipation was met with lengthy silence.

"Repeat, Orion to Rannoch. Is anyone picking up this signal?" Once again, only silence, silence that had become a mortal enemy to Tali over the past few weeks. It had become a sound she couldn't stand to listen to; the very thought of it made her head feel like exploding from the overload of utter nothingness. Silence meant patience, something that the quarian had ground down to a fine powder that had all but been carried off by the torrential storms of thoughts in her mind.

"Orion to Rannoch, this is Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya with Captain Shepard vas Normandy. We are in search of any possible survivors of the Migrant Fleet. If you are on the surface and are receiving this transmission... please respond," She said. At first, her words were rushed and impatient, but they slowly morphed into an urgent, almost begging tone. Shepard watched as Tali stared at the planet, her masked eyes almost burning a hole through the surface.

Still, they were met with nothing but silence. They waited for a few seconds, then a few minutes that seemed like a few hours, days, years- Still, nothing breached the bitter quiet in the cockpit. Eventually, Tali even began to lower her shoulders, then her head.

"Tali..." Shepard started. "I...I'm-" The crackle of static into the comm channel cut him off. Instantly, both his and Tali's attention returned to their contact attempts.

"Orion, this is the Southern Continent docking port. We read your transmission."

"Southern Continent, we are requesting permission to approach and dock," Shepard said quickly.

"Stand by, Orion." The anger that had so recently filled Tali's mind had suddenly evaporated at the sound of the voice. Now, she was curious, excited, worried. She had spent her whole life coming and going through ships and airlocks and docking bays, but now, for the first time, she would dock with her home and walk out into open air. She would walk out to scenery, to the sounds of planetary life bustling around her. Perhaps those thoughts were biased from having been on Earth for so long, but she couldn't imagine the development of quarian society, or whatever remained of it, could have been much different.

"Orion, you are cleared to descend. You are being transferred to SC Docking control for further details. You will be met by a security team and an ambassador. Welcome home, Tali'Zorah."

"They don't seem too upset that we're here," Shepard said after muting the comm channel.

"They didn't seem upset when we docked with the Rayya, either. Let's just hope this security team is just as glad," Tali replied.

The Orion's computer dinged as it received the docking coordinates, which Shepard promptly punched in to the system.

"Beginning approach," he said. He turned to Tali, noticing that she had returned to messing with her console as well. "Tali?"

"Yes?"

"Welcome home." Her hands stopped for a moment as she turned her head to Shepard. After a moment, she looked down, then back to her console.

"Thank you, Shepard," She said as her hands returned to motion.

Their path of descent took them just past the border of the sun's current influence, into early morning once they had entered Rannoch's atmosphere. Shepard would constantly look out the window, checking the surface for anything he could find. Once or twice, he thought he may have seen patches of artificial light or fires of sort, but nothing else was worth mentioning.

In anticipation of a mountain range ahead, Shepard leveled out the descent angle until they had cleared it. It was then that they received their first glimpse of the remaining quarian society. By far, the docking port was the largest structure, but it was understandable, seeing as it had four quarian dreadnaughts docked in it. It also looked like it had been built in a very rushed manner, but that was also understandable. The port was built on the northern end- the rest of the town was rather small, not taking up any more than a square mile of total space. There were colonies of tents and makeshift structures that extended beyond these borders, and on the southern end, separated by a little bit of distance, was what looked like farmland, situated right next to the river that passed through the middle of the town.

Soon, the Orion was passing over the town, and sooner still, it was hovering near the docking port, slowly making its way to bay 12. Shepard brought the ship into the bay, awaiting docking confirmation from control before hitting the holographic button above the center console that brought the magnetic locks clamping onto the hull of the ship. The shudder was felt, and Shepard reached for the engine controls, switching them off. For the moment, the two of them sat there, staring out the starboard side window across the river and into the arid landscape beyond, back over to the mountains they had passed over not long ago.

"I guess... we should get going," Shepard said. "We don't want to keep anyone waiting."

"Right," Tali said, shaking herself out of her daydream. Together, the two stood and walked to the port side airlock, waiting patiently as the Orion's VI weighed exterior and interior pressure before finally opening the doors. Slowly, they proceeded down the short tube to a door on the other end. Shepard his the holographic button that opened it, leading the two of them into a covered, but open-aired loading zone, occupied by five quarians armed with assault rifles and one female with a rather vivid light orange shawl draped over her body.

"Tali'Zorah, Captain Shepard," She said, stepping forth as soon as she caught sight of them. "I must apologize for our delays, but you caught us in an hour of unpreparedness."

"It's quite alright," Tali replied in as energetic a tone as Shepard had heard from her in quite some time. "We're just happy to be here."

"I'm sure you both have many questions. If you are ready, the security team and myself can transport you to the embassies, where a councilor is ready to see you." Shepard and Tali looked to each other for a moment before Tali looked back and accepted.

The docking bay led into a straight hallway, then down a ramp into a medium-sized enclosed room that acted as secuirty for the docks. The door out of there led straight into the unpaved roads, lined with two- and three-story buildings. A transport shuttle had been waiting for them, though it was a short ride from there to the embassies, no more than three or four minutes. This building sat rather isolated, the back facing the river and the rest of the town on the other side, though it was still well within the limits of the town. It also had a small courtyard in front, with a short path that split into a circular one, resuming the straight configuration as it led to the door. In the middle of the space created by the circle was a fairly large tree.

The ambassador led Shepard and Tali to the door before turning to them and asking them to continue on their own. The foyer inside the door consisted of two staircases on either side, leading to a balcony above with five doors lining the back wall. In the middle of the back wall on the lower level was a set of large doors that were currently closed.

"Captain, Admiral," greeted the receptionist, sitting behind a desk in front of the doors. "Councilor Varya is awaiting you in his office on the far left of the upper level," she said, pointing to the destination she had just described. Tali thanked her, and the two proceeded up the staircase, listening to the receptionist page the councilor.

"This is... incredible," Tali said softly as they climbed the stairs.

"I thought you might be a little disappointed as to the size."

"Of course, but... They've still managed to form a functioning society. And the town they built... look at all this space," she said, almost emphatically. Shepard could only smile, listening to the first hint of excitement he had heard from her in far too long.

The two stopped in front of the door they had been pointed towards, unsure of what to do now that they had reached it. Slowly, Tali had begun to reach for the door handle before it swung open in front of her.

"Admiral, Captain, I apologize for having kept you waiting. Please, please, come in." The councilor spoke with a certain emphasis and presence that reminded Shepard of Zaal'Koris.

_I always thought the man would have made a good politician, _Shepard said as he and Tali sat down in separate chairs in front of the councilor's cluttered desk.

"I am councilor Kru'Varya, former Captain of the dreadnaught Arpan. Once again, I apologize for the delays, but as you can see," he said, holding his hands out over his desk, "we have a lot on our hands around here."

"Really, it's alright," Tali started. "We haven't been waiting for that long."

"Sure. Fair enough," the councilor said, turning to the glass window behind him, staring out into a large room that Shepard guessed must have been the central chambers. "It's been a little over a year and a half. Thing have finally been going smoothly, but nothing seems as... efficient... as it did during ship life," he said somewhat lustfully. "But anyway, I digress. You two must have many questions, but I would like to start with my own," he said, sitting down behind the mess atop his desk. "What brings you back to Rannoch?"

"We... we were hoping to find survivors of the war. If there were any, we wanted to help in whatever way we could," Tali said.

"Hm. I see," The councilor replied, folding his hands and leaning forward on his desk. He seemed like he was pondering something for a moment before he spoke.

"There's no easy way to say this, but, since you two are no doubt intelligent individuals, I suppose I'll just say it. Though what's left of us were not part of the Migrant Fleet, we did still receive word. We knew of the Admiral's trial," he said, holding his hand out to Tali, "We knew of her heroic defender, Captain Shepard of the Alliance Navy- or was it Cerberus? We knew when the fleet reignited the war with the geth, when the dreadnaught appeared, and when the heroic Captain Shepard appeared and took it down."

"We simply disabled the signal. An Ally of ours took out the shields and drive core, and then... Han'Gerrel did the rest," Shepard interrupted.

"You needn't be so illusive, Captain," the councilor replied. "We knew this 'ally' was a geth. We know Gerrel fired upon the dreadnaught with you on board." The councilor had recited the whole list with little emotional charge behind it. Shepard had felt relieved that he hadn't been given much animosity, but he wondered where the councilor was taking this.

"We knew when you destroyed the reaper. Then, we lost contact with the fleet. We had celebrated, and then we mourned for what we feared the worst. We were confused. We had no idea what had just happened.

"No more than a week later, we received a distress beacon from the Vallhallan Threshold. We came in to investigate and found a small ship that had fled the battle, carrying one or two hundred fortunate souls. They gave light to our confusion." He stopped and shook his head.

"What I'm trying to tell you is that there are very... mixed feelings about the transmission we were given. Some say it implicates the Admirals. Some say it implicates you, Captain, and others, you, Admiral," he said, holding his hand to Shepard and Tali, respectively. "There are even some who don't care, who say the fleet deserved what happened. Said they had it coming to them." Shepard glanced over to Tali, who had long since hung her head.

"Councilor... I accept full responsibility as to the fate of the fleet," Shepard said. This caught the attention of both the councilor and Tali, who's eyes had immediately snapped to him. "Whatever happens here, the blame is mine, not Tali's."

"That is... kind of you, Captain, but I doubt you would be able to convince the entirety of the civilization of your view, even with as few of us as there are. The truth of the matter is that the minds of the population here are already at odds with much unrest. It would be... unwise of us to allow such a large issue to present itself in the form of you both. For the sake of the people, for the sake of reforming any large-scale quarian society, it would simply be unwise." There was a short pause, which Tali took as final.

"We understand, councilor," she said softly.

"Nothing is final yet," he replied, sensing her disappointment. "I'm simply giving you an overview of the situation, the mindset I expect the rest of the council to have. We're holding a private hearing amongst ourselves later in the day. You will know by tonight whether or not you are welcome here."

"Thank you, councilor," Tali replied, her voice having not gained much momentum.

"Until then, the ambassador with escort you back to the docks, where you are to return to your ship and await a decision," the councilor said, standing along with Tali and Shepard. "Regardless of the outcome, it has been an honor to meet you both," he said as he shook both of their hands. "I do apologize for the circumstances. If we should not meet again, fly safely." He gestured to the door, and Shepard and Tali proceeded through it, back down through the doors to the embassy, where the ambassador and the security team escorted them back to the Orion. Shepard and Tali continued in silence, even after the doors to the docking tube closed behind them. They stood in the airlock, waiting for the decontamination cycle to end. Before it did, Shepard watched Tali walk slowly to the wall before turning her back to it and collapsing to the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her head in them.

"I knew it," she said. "It's just like the trial all over again." Shepard sat down next to her.

"The trial that we won _without_ any solid evidence?"

"That was one ship, Shepard. We're talking about the entire damn fleet!" She shouted. "I... I don't see us coming out on top of this one."

"Varya sounds like he's on our side. He'll fight for us. We don't know anything yet."

"You've seen the way our politics work. He sounds outnumbered. Koris was outnumbered, and look what happened!"

"Tali, please. Wait until we hear from the councilor."

"We might as well just leave," she said, standing and storming off to her cabin, the door lock turning red behind her.


	6. Part 5

Shepard stood in the small armory in the back left corner of the cargo bay. He had been there for hours, having pulled apart each Avenger in the weapons locker and cleaned them more thoroughly than they had probably ever been cleaned. It cleared his mind, gave him something to focus on. It seemed as if, for every set of questions answered, a new set would arise, a set more impending than the last ones. They were getting closer and closer to an end, an end Shepard had decided he didn't want to think about.

Part of his current situation was feeling more helpless than he had ever felt in his life. He didn't care about his fate; what bothered him was Tali's stance at the mercy of the quarian council. Up until now, he had been able to help her entirely along the process, support her when she needed it. He could tell her it would be alright, because he knew he had control over the situation. He knew it would be _his_ success or failure that would lead to whether or not everything was actually alright. Now, though, the girl had locked herself in her room, awaiting a decision that Shepard had no influence over. He wanted to talk to her, but what would he say? Tali had reasonably shot down the points of reassurance he had already tried to offer. He didn't want to lie to her. He couldn't tell her it would be alright, because he had no idea whether or not it would be.

What may have bothered him more deeply was the implied lack of trust after Tali had stormed off to her quarters. Shepard could remember a time where she would have taken the most vague lines offered as truth simply if he had asked her to trust him. Of course, Shepard understood the situation, but he had let himself get too close to thinking she had actually forgiven him, that she actually trusted him again. He anticipated things might change when they reached Rannoch, but the irrationality in his head had overwhelmed him. He'd been foolish. He'd been stupid. He was holding a trigger guard in his hand, having been cleaning out the well, that he promptly turned and threw against a wall as hard as he could before he retreated to the back wall of the cargo bay, sinking to the floor, tears in his eyes.

_What am I to her but a reminder of her past? _He thought. _What am I to any of these people? She deserves someone that doesn't evoke such memories. I can't make her happy like this. _He took a deep breath, leaning his head back against the wall.

_I can't stay here. _

Just then, his omni-tool beeped. The councilor had sent him a message to let him know they had reached a decision, and would like Shepard and Tali to meet them back at the embassies. The ambassador had been informed and was ready to escort them as soon as they were ready.

Slowly, Shepard stood, wondering if he should even go, if he should just let Tali know and let her go by herself. After the events of the day, it seemed like it would be easier on her.

_No, _he thought. _I can't just let go of her now. It wouldn't be supportive. But does she even want my support? _

Shepard shook his head, trying to shake out the thought, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing by sticking around and helping in whatever way he could.

He climbed the stairs up to the main deck, finding Tali's door lock still red. He knocked softly.

"Tali? The council is ready to see us again." For the longest time, there was no response. Shepard wondered if she had fallen asleep or if she was simply ignoring him or if there was something else keeping her from answering the door. He was just about to knock again when the lock turned green and the doors slid open. Tali approached him, leaning on the door well, not making eye contact.

"And you think we should go?" She asked softly. The question caught him off-guard after the mental rant he had just gone off on. Why would she ask his opinion after such a heated response earlier in the day?

"Yes. I do." Tali sighed, looking down before making eye contact with Shepard.

"Alright. Well then let's go."

The two left the ship, once again greeted by the orange-shawled ambassador who escorted the two to the embassies. This time, the receptionist directed them into the council chambers, where five individuals stood behind a railing in the front of the room.

"Admiral, Captain," Councilor Varya greeted as they walked in. "It is a pleasure to see you again."

"The same for you, councilor," Tali replied, feigning cheerfulness.

"I'm sure you both must be very curious, and since we have kept you waiting all day, we will get straight to the point," Varya began. "We have agreed amongst ourselves that your presence will not be disruptive to society, and therefore, the two of you will be allowed to seek residency on Rannoch- if that was the intention you had come here with. Otherwise, you can be accommodated temporarily as well."

"This is not without exception," one of the three female councilors interrupted. The blackness of her suit ran deeper than Shepard had ever seen on a quarian, and it stood in vast contrast to the vivid green and yellow swirling patterns on her shawl.

"Shepard, Tali, this is Councilor Nera'Sani vas Rannoch, former captain of the dreadnaught Aqera," Varya said.

"Thank you, Councilor," Sani replied to Varya's introduction. "All we can go off of at the moment is speculation. As I am sure Councilor Varya mentioned to you, we have knowledge of a very mixed sentiment among our people. If it turns out that we have misjudged them, and responses become too negative to the point where it may threaten the unity of our society, we will have no choice but to ask you to leave."

"We appreciate your faith in us, Councilor Sani," Shepard replied.

"As well as the faith in your people," Tali added.

"For everyone's sake, I hope you do not prove us wrong," Sani said ominously. There was an awkward silence in the chamber before Varya chimed in once more.

"Yes, yes, well, it has been a long day for all of us. Admiral, Captain, if you would wait in my office as we wrap things up, I can answer any remaining questions for you, as well as inform you as to your next steps."

"Thank you, councilor," Tali replied, giving the council a nod as she turned to the chamber doors. Shepard mimicked the nod, then turned and followed Tali out of the chamber and to Varya's office. Tali slumped down into a chair, letting out a deep sigh.

"Feel better?" Shepard asked.

"A little. Like they said, we're still not sure how the public will respond."

"It's a small population. Knowing how personal life on ships was, I would think the councilors know their people very well. I wouldn't worry too much."

"I hope you're right," Tali said softly.

It was a few minutes before Councilor Varya entered the office, once again apologizing for the delay.

"Also, I must apologize for having not taken any questions earlier," he said as he took his place behind the diplomatic mess of documents on his desk. "Tell me, what can I do for the two of you?"

"We would just like to know how we can help," Tali said.

"Right. Well, Admiral-"

"Sorry, Councilor," Tali said, holding her hands up in apology for interrupting. "Please, call me Tali. I'm not an admiral any more."

"Unless you have information I don't, I have no record of anyone revoking that title before..." Varya trailed off into silence.

"No, they didn't. But it was given to me by the fleet, not the members of your council. Also, it was more of a formality. As much as some of them would say otherwise... They showed me where I stood in the end." There was a sorrowful silence between the two. Varya stood and turned to the window, crossing his arms behind his back.

"We have many young people out there in our shipyards, working on tearing some ships apart and putting others together. The people in charge know a ship, but nobody knows a ship like you have been said to... Tali," Varya started. "The mindset amongst them is rather... apathetic, maybe pessimistic. They don't see the hope, they don't see the point in trying so desperately to build quarian civilization again." Varya turned back to face Shepard and Tali. "You may not remember, but I knew your father. Close friend, actually. I was there when he was appointed to the Admiralty Board. If anyone could have convinced me to stay with the fleet, it was him. Your father was passionate about his work, about the fleet. If you have even a little of that passion in you, Tali..."

"She does," Shepard said. Tali looked over to him as he spoke. "She has more. Perhaps I'm biased as far as the pool I have to choose from, but If I had to pick a role model for the support of quarian society, it would be Tali." the girl looked away, shaking her head, wringing her fingers together.

"I just want to help my people... um, your people..." She said softly.

"Tali, the council discussed your status as Admiral," Varya said. "We concluded that letting you keep it, along with your experience in mechanics and technology, could be a vast boost to morale if we were to put you in a leading role. We want you to head the shipyard operations, including stripping of older ships, retrofitting of the fleet... well, the four dreadnaughts sitting in dry dock... and on top of that, we want you to head development of an R&D sector as well. If you will allow it, we would ask you to keep your Admiralty status." Tali had looked up to the councilor as she heard the information. When he stopped, he turned to look at her, and she pulled her eyes away, unable to speak.

"I... I don't know... what to say," Tali said. "Are you sure trusting me with all of this is a good idea? What about the population response?"

"As Councilor Sani mentioned, you will be kept under watch to make sure things go well. To an extent, we can push things among the population. The problem is, we just haven't figured out what that extent is. Given your experience, we feel you are simply the best equipped to handle the roles being given to you, even if it means potentially finding out what the 'extent' may be." Tali had been driven speechless and still seemed to be in utter disbelief. "Tali, you keep saying you're here to help. I believe you, so as long as your actions reflect that mentality, I assure you everything will be alright."

"I... Thank you, Councilor," Tali said softly.

"You should go see Councilor Sani. She has been heading the recycling of ships until now. She has all the relevant information for you."

"Right," Tali said, standing. "Shepard. Councilor." Shepard stood up with her.

"_Admiral_," Varya said, snapping a salute. Shepard saluted as as well, following the councilor's lead. Tali turned to exit.

"Thank you, councilor," Shepard said as the door shut behind her. "You've made her happy."

"Yes, well, she was a good fit. Having traveled with you in the... mythical Normandy," he said with a hint of sarcasm. "Anyway. Typically, what we offer to any quarians that return to the homeworld is a single apartment or suite, depending on whether or not we're dealing with an individual or a family. In addition, if requested, we allow up to one square mile of land for free."

"How many people have returned?"

"Not as many as we had hoped," the councilor replied with a sigh. "Total population, including men, women, and children brings us to a little under one individual per ten thousand square miles."

"I'm sorry. I'm here to help you in whatever ways I can as well."

"That's our problem. We don't know you as well as the Admiral. As far as we know, your strengths all involve war." Shepard stood and paced back and forth for a moment.

"Are there any supplies or materials you have a lack of?"

"Well... we're going to run out of ships to scrap sooner or later. We're dangerously dependent on what little agriculture we have. A single natural disaster could threaten the entire society. On top of that, just... labor, really."

"What if I could set you up with a supply chain from Earth?" Varya turned to Shepard, seemingly surprised at the suggestion.

"I would be... extremely grateful, but I'm afraid we don't have much as far as currency."

"Let me make some calls. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Captain. We can get you set up with an apartment in the town center on the other side of the river." The councilor paused for a moment. "If you could pull this off, it would take a lot of the stress off our hands. There are days when we barely have the means to get through. You don't know how many times we've been gravely threatened in the short time we've been here, Shepard."

"One way or another, I'll get you what you need, councilor."

"Thank you. I appreciate that," Varya said, returning his gaze to the window. There was a short pause between the two.

"You mentioned giving land to any quarian who requested it. What would I have to do to get a little bit? I don't even need a whole mile."

"I can talk to the council. Perhaps if you were to come through with those supply chains first, it would make their decision a little easier."

"What if I told you I eventually planned to pass the ownership? Pass it to a quarian?" Varya turned around to look at Shepard.

"I see. I'll talk to the council and do what I can for you, Shepard."

"Thank you, councilor."

"Thank _you_, Captain. When you're ready, the ambassador can take you to the residential district. Registration and other processes are handled there."

"I appreciate it."

"Good night, Shepard. Keelah se'lai." Shepard turned and left the office. He scanned the foyer for Tali and had to ask the receptionist when he couldn't find her.

"She and Councilor Sani left about five minutes ago. They were headed to the ship recycling docks." Shepard thanked her and turned towards the door.

_Figures,_ he thought to himself. _First night here and she's already headed towards burning herself out. I guess I can't blame her. _He smiled at the thought of her finally being able to contribute, though. He smiled at the thought of her being able to contribute in such an important way.

For the first time in a while, he smiled at the thought of her being _happy._

* * *

About a week and a half had passed, a week and a half in which Shepard had only seen Tali a few times. It was always from afar in the Shipyard while she gave orders as to ship operations. Shepard had figured Tali would want to help out herself and was glad to see her doing so.

Shepard did most of his work out of the Orion due to lack of spaces available for communication elsewhere. Really, he hadn't done much yet, aside from contacting Admiral Hackett to see if he could actually follow through on his offers. Hackett had sent back a rather vague message letting the former commander know he would do everything he could.

Now, Shepard waited in the Orion for a transmission from Hackett, who had asked to speak with him soon. Shepard was staring out the window across the arid plains toward the mountain range they had come in over when he received a transmission notification on his omni-tool. He walked over to the console and accepted the transmission, replacing the ship status holo with the holographic image of the Admiral.

"Shepard, if I had known this was your intention before you left, your requests might have been a little easier to accommodate," the admiral said.

"Sorry, sir. I honestly had no idea what I was coming here to do."

"Understood. Well, in any event, I've got some good news and bad news for you. At least, knowing you, it's bad news."

"Alright. Well, let's hear it."

"The good news is your supply chain requests have been approved. The sense of galactic unity is high enough at the moment that I was able to push for supplies to be sent free of charge. That, on top of the emotional response to the tragedy the quarians have faced, was really all the support I needed."

"So... what's the bad news?" Hackett smirked at the question.

"As you should know, people around here aren't big on following through without formalities," Hackett said. "You are now... Ambassador Shepard."

"Oh, god, no..." Shepard said sarcastically.

"I had figured you've had more than enough of playing ambassador. I'm sorry, but I had to push that through as well."

"As long as it involves less guns this time," Shepard replied. "But if it means I can get these people what they need, then I'll take it."

"I knew you'd be up to it," Hackett replied. "I've got an old friend of yours putting things together. You'll act as the liaison between the quarians and him, and he'll make sure things get shipped to Rannoch. I'm sending you the information now."

"Thank you, admiral."

"Shepard, it's good to see you doing what you're doing. Still, a little more notice next time would be appreciated."

"Noted, sir."

"Good. Hackett out."

By the end of the day, Shepard had informed the council, and they had put together a list of the most urgently needed supplies. That list was relayed to Earth, and by the end of the week, an Alliance dreadnaught had arrived to Rannoch. Shepard waited patiently as the ship docked in a vacant fifth dreadnaught port, a port that was empty only because the quarians deemed it necessary to cannibalize the ship for the majority of the infrastructure they had in place.

The docking tube descended and connected to the ship, and after a few minutes, the doors opened, and through them walked Kaidan Alenko, escorted by two soldiers.

"Shepard," he said, extending his hand. "It's been a while."

"You're not going to go crazy on me again, are you?" Shepard replied as he shook Kaidan's hand. "You know. Leaving the alliance. Siding with the quarians. Not talking to you for the past two years."

"Hah. No. Though I do have to say, you never cease to show off an... interesting lifestyle, Shepard. Of course, if I wanted to know, I could have figured it out easily, but after you were let out of the hospital and left the Alliance, I wasn't sure what happened to you. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you turned up here. Is Tali around somewhere?" Shepard stared off into the shipyard off the northern end of the docking station. Kaidan turned to take up his stare.

"They basically put her in charge of the Navy. She's been out there assisting in stripping ships, re-purposing things, retrofitting these four ships, starting an R&D sector..."

"Sounds like exactly what she would have wanted," Kaidan said, turning back to the ambassador.

"Yeah. She's handling it well. I mean, I haven't seen her in days... but I'm sure she's handling it well."

"Tell me, Shepard... are you doing this for them, or for her?" Shepard didn't answer the question, leaving Kaidan with his wishful stare into the distance as a response.

"Do you... expect her to forgive you?" Shepard left this question with a long pause as well.

"No," he said, just as Kaidan had given up on a response. Kaidan let it sink in for a moment, wondering if he should say anything else. Taking Shepard's stare as a sign of pain, he pulled together some straggling thoughts and let out a sigh.

"You got us through it, you know?" Kaidan started. "Maybe you made some bad decisions on the way. Hurt some people you care about. But if you hadn't made those choices, you would've made others. Hurt other people. For everything that happened, you got us through it... relatively unscathed. And the society here? What you did, the rest of the decisions you made in that war, allowed them this opportunity. I'm not saying they should be celebrating you... but regardless of what you did to others, you gave them this chance. And what you're doing for them now... I would say you have no reason to be ashamed." Shepard thought for a moment before letting out a deep sigh.

"If only the ones that mattered thought the same way."

"Yeah. Well... I'm sorry." the two stood in silence for a moment.

"Anyway," Kaidan started. "We've got shuttles ready to transport the supplies. We just need to know where they're going."

"Any building materials stay here in the shipyard. There's an area in the back marked off for them. Food and living supplies go to the warehouses through town and across the river on the eastern end. Medical supplies go to the hospital."

"Right," Kaidan said as he tapped the instructions into a datapad. "Sergeant, Corporal, relay this information to the teams in cargo. Let's get this stuff moving."

"Yes sir," The two soldiers replied, saluting before they retreated through the docking tube. Kaidan turned back to Shepard.

"And what about _your_ supplies?" he asked.

"I've got a place in mind," Shepard replied, turning his gaze to the mountains behind him.


	7. Part 6

Two Months Later

Usually, when Shepard returned to his apartment at night, he would write a daily report on quarian society that Hackett had asked him to keep for "better understanding of the use and necessity of the supplies being sent to the quarian home world." Tonight, though, he felt physically unable to do so, every muscle in his body aching in every possible way. His knee throbbed worse than it had when he'd woken up for the first time in the hospital. Shepard figured the report could wait until the morning, so he simply tossed his stuff down and went straight to the shower. Once finished, he was about to collapse onto his bed in eager anticipation of the wonderful rest he hoped awaited him when his plans were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. After a few more moments of lustful staring at his bed, he turned towards the front door, confused by the fact that no one had come to visit in the time he had been on Rannoch. He hit the door control and the metal plates slid away to reveal Tali standing in the hall, holding what appeared to be a bottle of quarian alcohol of some sort.

Shepard actually had to process the sight for a moment. He and Tali had not spoken at length for some time now. They had met while they had been working in the shipyard or the embassies, but what followed was normally only small talk, things like, "How is your work going? How are the people treating you?" etc. The most in-depth conversation they had shared came a day or two after Shepard had become "Ambassador Shepard." They had met in the embassies after Tali had overheard Varya call Shepard "Ambassador."

"Ambassador?" Tali asked, coming over to Shepard once he was free.

"Yeah. I... didn't ask for it," Shepard replied, scratching his head. "Hackett said it was the only way to get a supply chain set up."

"Well... um... congratulations," Tali said. "We'll have to... celebrate or something."

"Yeah. We'll do that." It was a highly awkward conversation, being kept apart by differing mindsets between the two of them.

Of all things, the biggest factor explaining the lack of interaction between them came from Shepard. He had purposely been trying to ease out of the connection, as he was still unsure how he was going to tell Tali that he couldn't stay on Rannoch. It hadn't bothered him for s short period of time, but recently, he had secured a stable interaction within the chains he had set up, an interaction that wouldn't require his presence more than once or twice a year. That meant the time to leave was approaching quickly, and thus, the topic had been on Shepard's mind quite a bit lately.

"Um... hi," Tali said, breaking what had seemed like an eternity of silence between them.

"Hey. Its... been a while," Shepard replied. The silence was gone, but the lack of comfort was not.

"I was hoping..." Before Tali could finish, Shepard stepped to the side, clearing the doorway for the quarian. "Thank you," she said softly as she stepped through.

"How have you been?" Shepard asked, shutting the door behind her. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes... everything is great, in fact. Do you have glasses? I forgot to bring some," Tali replied, setting the bottle on the kitchen counter.

"I do, but you know I can't drink that..." Shepard replied as he walked to the cabinet. He still pulled out two glasses and set them by the bottle.

"Yeah. It took me half the trip over here to realize that as well. I've gotten so used to being around quarians again that I guess I just forgot."

"Well, that's fine. I've had Kaidan bring me some drinks that won't kill me." Shepard pulled a bottle of his own out of a small refrigerator and set it next to the glasses. "So, what's the occasion?"

"Oh, right... Well... In my time on the Normandy and with the Alliance and the time spent on Earth, there were a few human traditions that I took a liking to. Don't get me wrong when I say this, because, like I said, things have been great here and all, but... I just haven't really had time to... to catch my breath. I figured, if I needed an excuse to stop and relax for a minute, today would offer a good excuse."

"And what's so special about today?"

"It's my birthday, Shepard."

"Um... Happy birthday. I'm sorry, if I had known..."

"It's alright," Tali said behind a slight laugh. "I realize that I've never told you. With everything we've been through, it's just one of those... trivial details that slips the mind."

"Well, we'll make sure it's not trivial tonight," Shepard said, pulling out a bottle opener. He poured Tali's drink, then his own, and the two of them took a sip before Shepard decided the silence had gone on long enough.

"So, what exactly have you been up to?"

"Lots and lots of work in the shipyard," Tali said. "We're stripping everything except the four dreadnaughts for anything that can be useful for building, structure, retrofitting, or anything else."

"Do you have teams that work for you or is it more of an 'every man for himself' situation?"

"Oh, I have teams. There's too much involved in any one task for a single person to take it on alone. I enjoy helping, though. I enjoy being a part of them as opposed to just an onlooker or a direction giver. Sani says they really appreciate it, that I'm doing a good job, but..."

"You're just trying to help."

"Yeah."

"That's not all, though, is it?" Shepard asked, hearing incompleteness in her tone. Tali set down her glass and walked over to the window.

"Things are so much more different here than the image of quarian society that has been ingrained in my mind since I could make sense of sights and sounds. Yet, I still look at them, listen to their voices, see the things they've put together, the work they've done... and I can't escape the past. I can't escape the fate of the fleet. It lingers in my mind, the thoughts of the war, of the Normandy, of life on the flotilla... None of it will go away."

"You've been through a lot, Tali. More than most of the people here. I think I might be more worried about you if could just get past it without any kind of dwelling."

"I know. I just... I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of sleepless nights. It's so selfish of me, I want to move on, but I can't..."

"You sound like you may still be expecting to return to the past. Like someday you may return to the flotilla or they may show up in the skies."

"I suppose it's possible. It doesn't really help that I feel like we just stepped off the Orion yesterday. I mean, with all we've done, the people we've helped, the work we do... I, at least, still feel like I'm on the outside. I still feel like I'm looking in, like I'm not really a part of this society. People have called me 'Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch,' but I don't feel like the name fits. Maybe I can accept not being 'vas Normandy' anymore, but... I don't know what I am. I don't know where I belong. Certainly, it doesn't feel like I belong here." Shepard took in her words, thoughts of his own running through his head.

"You don't have any other plans tonight, do you?" he asked after a moment.

"No, Shepard, I came over with a bottle of whiskey and the intention to head out to the shipyard and pull apart a drive core that could vaporize the whole town with the slightest bit of mishandling." Ignoring the sarcasm, Shepard went to his bedroom closet and pulled out a blanket, tearing a thin strip off the bottom. He needed just enough to cover the eyes, but only after he tore the strip did he realize he would probably need to cover Tali's entire mask. He tossed the strip aside and tore a thicker one, then rushed back out to the kitchen.

"If you'll let me, I want to show you something," he said.

"What is it?"

"That, is a surprise. You'll have to trust me a little bit." Tali stared at the makeshift blindfold that Shepard held with more than slight apprehension.

"Alright," she said hesitantly.

"I'll take you to the car, but then I have to put the blindfold on you."

"Whatever this is had better be good," Tali said playfully. The two of them finished off the glasses of alcohol they had poured before they made their way out to the shuttle that the council had graciously provided for Shepard's use after he had outlined his intentions as to the fate of the land he had persuaded them to grant him. As promised, Shepard wrapped the blanket scrap around Tali's mask before he started the shuttle and took off in the direction of the mountains. He landed on a particularly flat area in a valley between peaks, right on the bend of the river that ran through it. Shepard helped the blind quarian out of the shuttle and positioned her so she was facing down the river's path, her line of sight shooting out between peaks of the mountains, the dip in the topography offering a view of the northern half of the town.

"I'm going to take off the blindfold, but you've got to keep your eyes straight," Shepard said.

"I hear the river. A river. Did you bring me out here to show me a river?" Shepard laughed as he untied the knot and pulled the blanket scrap away from Tali's visor. "If you were thinking aesthetics, I think this would be nicer during the day. For some reason, though, I feel like you know that."

"I would say the same. The reflection of the sun off the water here would make it a wonderful view."

"So, why are we here, then?" Shepard sighed heavily, staring down the path of the river.

"I could just say 'happy birthday' and be done with it. Claim it as my own, give you something that isn't really mine to give. Both of us know I can't do that, though. I may be the one giving, but what I have for you isn't mine to give."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Before we went after the collectors, during your trial, your father made you a promise. I don't know if you had mentioned it before then, but if so, I must not have made up my mind by that point because it didn't stick with me nearly as much as hearing it the second time. I could tell that promise wasn't something he took lightly. It was a promise he risked his own life and the safety of the fleet if it meant accomplishing that. And before you say anything," Shepard said, feeling Tali's gaze turn to him, "I know it wasn't what you wanted. I know that's not what you would have wanted him to give up for you, but it was his way of trying to tell you he loved you."

"But... he wasn't around to hold himself to it," Tali said softly. She seemed less confused than she had before, but there was also an unwillingness to accept what she thought the conversation might be leading up to.

"No, he wasn't," Shepard replied. "Like I said, it stuck with me once I had made up my mind. Your father made you a promise- he made the girl I care about a promise. When we found him, when I heard that message... I told myself I would fight so that I would have the opportunity to give you what he had promised. And... well, I got that opportunity," Shepard said, turning his back to the river. "So, from your father... happy birthday, Tali." Slowly, the girl turned around, bringing into eyesight a decently sized house sitting in the clearing about twenty yards in front of them.

"Shepard... I... you..." She looked to him, then to the house, then back to him, then back to the house. "This... is mine?"

"It will be. You just have to go down to the offices and have them transfer it to your name. They know the deal."

"And... and you did this?"

"Technically, yes, but it wasn't my idea. I had a little help, too," Shepard replied as he brought up his omni-tool, spawning three green tech drones.

"You bought _tech drones_? You hate tech drones!"

"Yeah... but I wouldn't have been able to put this together without their help. A few things aren't quite finished. The chimney is fine, but the fireplace hasn't been put together... the bedrooms need paint... the railing on the deck in the back has to be put on... that should be about it. Once it's all done, you're welcome to these damn things," Shepard said, pressing a few buttons that evaporated the drones as quickly as they had appeared. For a few moments, Tali simply stared at the house, not moving whatsoever.

"Shepard... I..."

"Hey. Go inside. Take a look." When she still didn't move, Shepard walked over and locked his arm with hers. With slight resistance, he was able to pull her forward, up the stairs to the front porch that spanned the entire length of the face of the house. They walked in the front door, finding themselves in an open room with the back right quarter separated by walls. On the left was what appeared to be a kitchen and a dining area, and on the right was currently just empty space. Two large windows sat on either side of the front wall, while smaller windows lined the left and right walls. Shepard let go of Tali's arm, and slowly, she set to exploring the floor.

"It's missing appliances," Shepard said as she walked to the kitchen. "We'll get you a refrigerator and a stove and maybe even a dishwasher. All the water should work, though." When he said this, Tali went to the sink and examined the fixture, looking for a way to turn it on.

"You have to tap it." Apprehensively, the quarain lifted her hand and tapped the top of the faucet, setting in motion a stream of water. She tapped it again, and after a few moments of staring, she began to open cabinets, searching through their own emptiness.

"We'll get you some dinnerware as well. I hadn't exactly planned to show this to you yet, but the timing seemed... right." Tali only nodded in response as she walked forward to the space in the left front, separated from the kitchen by an island.

"I was going to put the dining table here. I was going to build it myself, but if you like, we can find you something in a catalog from Earth or see if anyone around here might either have something for sale or be willing to build one." As usual, Tali replied with silence as she walked to the space in the front right quarter. "This will be the living room. We'll get you a couch, loveseat, recliner, coffee table... you know. Living room stuff." Tali examined the corners and the ceiling a bit longer before returning to Shepard, still in her manner of silence. She folded her hands, letting them hang freely as she stared at the man in front of her. Returning her mannerisms, Shepard held his arm out to her. She took it, and he led her to the back of the house. There were three doors- "One, to a bathroom, the one in the middle leads to the stairs, and the one in the back is... a large closet. I'm not the greatest architect... I wasn't exactly sure what to do with that space." Shepard guided Tali through the middle door, which took them through a flat hallway that turned to stairs around the corner as they reached the length of the house. The first set turned around a corner again to a second set, which led to a hall in alignment with the "hall" downstairs before they had passed through the door leading to the stairs. This short hall led into an open room spanning the length of the house, the front wall being made entirely of glass panes, offering a view down the river and to the town as the two had observed before Shepard had revealed the house. Once again, Shepard let go of Tali's arm, and she slowly drifted forward.

"We can get some more 'living room stuff' to put in here as well. Maybe a small table or something. I thought it might be nice to have a room to admire the view every now and then. Look up to the stars at night. Watch the sunset without having to walk outside." For the longest time, longer than she had spent on any one area downstairs, Tali stared out the window, taking in the view. Shepard wondered what might be going through her head and had started to get a little worried just before she broke her stare and turned back as if she was headed in a certain direction, then suddenly forgot that direction. She looked to Shepard for guidance.

"The left here is your bedroom," Shepard said, pointing to a door in the left back wall, "And the door on the right is the guest bedroom, or whatever else you may choose to do with it. An office, maybe. Or, you could put that up here. Or... _that's _what you could do with that closet downstairs..." Shepard realized Tali was still staring at him and watched her shake her head in seeming amusement. "Sorry... each room has a bathroom in it- shower, bathtub, mirrors, everything. Your room spans the rest of the length of the house, while the guest room runs back about three quarters. It cuts to a deck/porch/balcony/whatever on the back side. Both rooms have a door to it." Shepard watched Tali disappear into her bedroom. He didn't follow her, instead turning to look out the window himself. He heard running water a few times, first from her bedroom, then the guest room, before Tali appeared back at his side. Together, they stared in silence out the window.

"I know you're still a bit apprehensive about having space to yourself, so I tried to be a little conservative. Obviously, some things still need to be done here and there, we'll need to get you some furniture... but other than that, it's almost done. I hope you like it."

"It's... wonderful, Shepard," she said softly, sounding choked on tears. "I just have one question... had you planned to live here too? Or are you planning on living in that apartment the rest of your life? You didn't mention any space for yourself here." Shepard felt pressure behind his own eyes, his heart dropping to his stomach. He had hoped this wouldn't come up tonight, but now that it had, he decided the conversation was inevitable.

"I'm... not staying on Rannoch, Tali." She turned to him in a sharper display of movement than she had exhibited all night.

"Wait... what? What do you mean?"

"The supply chains are set up. I only really need to be here two or three times a year to ensure everything is running smoothly."

"But... I thought the plan was for you to stay? To keep helping, to help the council, the people... to help me?"

"That's exactly it, Tali. The best thing I can do for you is to leave you alone. To stay away so that I'll stop reminding you of your past, the pain I've caused you... the less of me you see, the better."

"What about what you said on the way here? What about 'if I don't have you, I don't have a whole lot else,' or... or whatever it was you said?"

"This isn't about me, Tali. It's about you. It's about what's best for you."

"But... Shepard, I... I don't want you to leave!" This struck Shepard at an odd angle. It had been the first time since the two had starting talking again that Tali had verbally and explicitly expressed such an opinion. The two stood there in silence for a moment before Tali tore her eyes away from Shepard's stare and walked closer to the window.

"I... the mix of feelings... I've never been so... unsure... of what to feel in my life. I thought there was no consistency, each day coming at me with a new mix of thoughts and emotions and life finding different ways to slap me in the face, remind me of things that I don't want to be reminded of... but then, I realized, there _is _a consistency..." She turned back to face Shepard. "It's you... and you haven't been negative. Sure, I may think of things in the past when I see you or think of you, but... those thoughts don't hit me the same way. I can't describe it, really, but since... what happened, you've been the only real source of consistency that I've had. The only sense of _normalcy. _Shepard... you can't go."

"I'm not the consistency you need, Tali. As long as I'm here, you'll cling to it. You need consistency from your society, your people. You won't find that unless I leave."

"I don't _want _that!" She shouted. She stood in front of him, fists trembling at her sides. She took a deep breath and hung her head as she turned back to the window. "When are you leaving?"

"Within the week."

"Let me know. So I can say goodbye. If, of course, you think that's what's best for me," she said somewhat spitefully. "Will you take me back into town?" Tali kept her distance as the two left. When the shuttle reached the apartments, Tali stepped out and stormed off without a word.

* * *

As expected, most quarians had responded sorrowfully at Shepard's news of departure. Only Sani, though, had asked why.

"I see," she replied. Unlike Varya, Sani was reserved in her motions and pompous. She did not radiate "politician" like the male councilor in any way except perhaps her tone, which put her off as slightly aloof on occasion. She sat behind her desk, which was exceptionally well organized, considering Shepard's thoughts.

"I won't tell you I know the admiral. I've only been with her a few months, and at that, she much prefers field work while I remain in the embassies most of the time. I can tell you she has a wonderful heart. She's known the council's people for far less time, and yet, somehow, she's been able to relate to them on a level we never have been. She's insistent on helping, no matter the cost to herself. Quarian society is vastly improved with her presence."

"But...?"

"But... There's something about her. Her attitude, though cheerful, is still reserved. She reveals her most personal thoughts to those who care to hear, but she still holds something back. She lives here and has integrated well into our society, yet she is still detached. She's holding on to something she can't let go."

"I wouldn't disagree with you."

"I want to caution you, ambassador. You may think removing your presence from her life is assisting her, but I've heard the way she talks about you. It's... sad. Remorseful. Regretful, perhaps. Still, though, you may be a source of strength to her."

It was a thought Shepard had been considering since he had been yelled at by Tali a few nights before.

_A source of strength? How can I be a source of strength when I just invoke thoughts of her past? How can I be a source of strength when I sent her people to their deaths?_

The thoughts tore away at Shepard's mind as he sat in his seat on the left side of the Orion cockpit. He had been playing with the system controls and reading the stats over and over, making excuses to delay himself. Now, though, he stared silently at the red light above the hologram of the ship on display from the center console. All that separated him from departure was clearance, clearance that he hesitated to call for.

_A source of strength?_

A beeping from his omni-tool broke through his thoughts. He swatted at the light on the back of his hand, displaying an incoming message signal from Tali. Wondering what she might want, he accepted.

"Shepard?" She said as the display changed to her image.

"Hi, Tali."

"I'm outside... If you weren't busy or just about to take off, I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes..."

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there in a moment." Shepard closed the display and almost sprinted down the docking tube to let Tali into the Orion. The doors revealed her in their frame, holding a small, flat box in both hands. Shepard led her in, where she took a seat at what was her station and began to swipe through systems and diagnostics.

"You'll need to discharge the drive core before you reach Earth," she said. "I would do it before you leave Tikkun... not because of necessity, but just convenience. Other than that... systems all look fine."

"Thanks. I was having a hard time decoding the information."

"I was surprised you even knew how to fly. Before you got us here, I don't think I had ever seen you fly a ship."

"We all get basic pilot training. If we'd come across combat, that would be a different story, but I can get most ships from point A to point B. Most of that deal is largely automated, anyway."

"I see."

"Yeah. Though, I get the feeling you didn't come to talk about my pilot skills."

"No. I guess I didn't," Tali replied softly. She stood and paced in the little space available in the cockpit. "I was thinking about what you said. How... you not being around would be best for me. How it would help me let go of the past. I've... come to terms with it, but I've also decided that... I can't forget it. Forgetting would be dishonoring them. It would be dishonoring their lives, their sacrifices... There's no one left that had been a part of the fleet the way I was. So... I hope you can understand why I don't want to forget."

"If you're worried about dishonoring, then why would you still want me around?"

"Nobody is perfect, Shepard. Everybody makes mistakes." She paused for a moment to take in what she had just said. "Please don't think I pass off the destruction of quarian society as a simple mistake... but, the thing is, I've been with you from the start of this. I watched you succeed and I watched you fail. You didn't make a single decision lightly, and when you did screw up, you always did your best to atone for it. Even when you hadn't screwed up, you were more than a commander to the people in your crew. You were a friend, a helper, a listener. You did your best to help anyone and everyone no matter what. Shepard, you don't have a bad soul, and that's what I admired about you. I realized, I still do admire it. Watching you help the alliance as they brought the materials to the shipyard, getting out there and doing that lifting, limping on your knee, the pain I could see in your face... Maybe I'm not ready to fully forgive you yet. Honestly, I can't say for sure I'll ever be. If there's one thing you could give me, though, the most helpful thing I can receive from you... it would be patience. Patience with my attitude, my acceptance, my hesitance... I'm sorry I may show you these things, but... I want you around, Shepard. I promise."

There was a moment of silence as Shepard stared at the floor, letting Tali's words sink in. The girl spoke again when she realized she probably wouldn't get a response any time soon.

"But, should you decide that's too much to ask... I understand. And, I have something for you." She held out the box she had been holding, which Shepard only seemed to stare at hesitantly. Slowly, he forced his hands to the package and took it from her.

"Even if I can't remember you... I want you to remember me." Another long silence followed.

"Well... I guess I should get out of your way. I'm sure you have a lot to do." Slowly, she walked towards the door, hoping Shepard might say something to stop her. She turned just before she activated the controls.

"Shepard?" Her words succeeded in grabbing the ambassador's eyes. "Thank you... for everything you have done. The people here are much better off because of you."

"Yeah. Anytime," Shepard managed to mutter. Tali lifted her hand to the door control and disappeared behind it.

Shepard sat down, his knee feeling unusually pained. Tali's words still hadn't sunk in. All he could do was sit there and wait for his mind to process what she had said.

Then, he remembered the box.

He stared at it for a second before he opened it. It was white, flat, no taller than his hand, no wider than the arm of his chair, and no thicker than a deck of cards. After a thorough examination, he pulled one end open and slid out a metal frame, wrapped in bubble wrap. Inside the frame was a picture of himself and Tali, one they had taken after their assault on the collector base before Shepard had turned the Normandy over to the Alliance.

"So... this is real, right? Not just something we did because we thought we may not come back through the Omega-4 relay?" Tali had said.

"Of course," Shepard replied without hesitation. "Though, once we reach Earth, we may be separated. It might help to have... something to remember you by."

"You sound like we might never see each other again?"

"I'll find a way. I'll come back to you. I promise."

Later that night, they had taken the picture, sitting on the sofa in Shepard's cabin on the Normandy. She had taken her helmet apart on the condition that as little contact as possible would be made since she still felt slightly ill from the night before they had passed through the relay. She'd pulled the shawl down, revealing her dark hair that cut off a few inches above her shoulders. Tali's drone had taken the picture and had sent it to Shepard, but the Alliance had taken his old omni-tool and never returned it. Thus, he had lost the picture.

Now though, having it back, the emotions it evoked along with the speech Tali had just made was too much for Shepard. Numb to his senses, he could only watch as tears fell to the glass in the frame he held in his hands.

* * *

Tali blamed herself for being too afraid, too shy, too... too unsure, if anything else. She couldn't make up her mind, and because of it, Shepard was gone.

She sat in the room looking out upon the mountains and down into the town, her back up against the left wall, her knees pulled into her chest. By this point, Tali had cried herself to the point of exhaustion and a weird sort of numb pain through her body, all except for her head. She could feel the pain in her head clear as day, the pressure behind her eyes, the soreness at the base of her neck, all caused by her persistent crying.

_I probably deserve it, _she told herself. _I should've seen it coming. I lost the fleet, I lost my friends, and now, Shepard, too. _

Her thoughts pushed her to the point of wanting to cry again, but she had cried herself out, and instead rested her head on top of her knees and shut her eyes. From that point, Tali wasn't completely aware of how time progressed; all she knew was that she was woken up later, after the sun had set, by loud knocking at the front door. It wasn't until later that she realized she should have wondered who was knocking on the door of a strange house way up in the mountains so late at night, a house that no one besides Shepard and maybe the council knew about, but at that moment her mind was too numb to process such thoughts. She simply stood and drew through the empty motions to the door. Opening it revealed someone that suddenly snapped her back to, at least, a somewhat conscious state. Shepard stood in the frame, a large bag draped around his shoulder.

"Shepard? Shouldn't you be... gone?" She stuttered in disbelief.

"I couldn't bring myself to even start the engines," he replied after trying to come up with a lame excuse.

"So... what are you doing here?"

"Well, I went back into town to find you. I checked your old apartment first, but the receptionist in the lobby told me you had resigned ownership a few hours before I had gotten there. So, I came here, hoping to find you. Hoping, maybe... I could come in."

"Are you saying...?"

"Yes, I am." In the time it took Shepard to blink, Tali had latched her arms around his body in one of the warmest embraces they had shared since he had found her out in the woods back on Earth. After a moment, she pushed him away before punching him in the chest as hard as she could.

"You _have _to stop doing this to me," she said behind a new wave of tears.

"I'm sorry, Tali. If you'll let me, I'll just stay right here, with you. I promise."

"I would like that, Shepard. Like I said, it may still take some time, but..."

"I'll wait. As long as it takes."

"Thank you," Tali said, wrapping her arms around Shepard once more. After a while more, the two turned to face down the river, standing with an arm still wrapped around the other.

"You do know how to find a view," Tali said softly.

"It takes something special to be able to look at it every day and not get tired of it. Hopefully, this one won't disappoint."

"I'm sure it won't. But we'll both be here to figure it out... together." The two of them stood in each others arms, staring off into the distance, the landscape lit by the stars of the night.


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue, a year later

The bed was still a new feeling to Shepard, or relatively new, at least. Since he had lived in the house he built with Tali, he had slept on a couch they had bought for the 'view room,' insisting that the guest room be kept open for guests. He and the quarian were on good terms, but things weren't like they had been before the fleet had been destroyed. For that reason, Shepard had taken his residence on the couch.

That was, until one morning when he had woken to the quarian girl standing in front of him, her arms crossed.

"You look ridiculous out here," she had said. "You don't seem like you're sleeping well, either."

"I'm fine. I promise. It's actually quite the comfortable couch."

"I wouldn't know. You're always sleeping on it."

"Really, Tali. I'm alright." She sighed and let her arms down, turning towards the window.

"It's almost been a year since... well, since we've been living together. Things are... great, right?"

"Yeah. I'm... very happy here with you," Shepard said, unsure of where Tali was going.

"You know, the bed you bought me is way too big... I don't even take up half of it..."

"Tali, that's your space. I don't want to take it from you."

"There's not much about each other that we don't know, Shepard. It's not like we would be sacrificing that. Even if we were acting a little... reserved, to each other... I would be ready to let that go if it meant you could be comfortable living here."

"I just told you like three times that I'm comfortable."

"Well, then I'll put it this way," she said, turning back to Shepard with her hands on her hips. "I want my sofa. So, either you can be a guest and move to the guest room, or we can start acting like we live with each other... like we _want _to live with each other... and you can move your stuff into the bedroom." She had walked forward as she spoke, and when she finished, she gave the ambassador a playful punch on the arm before she skipped off down the hall and the stairs, not giving Shepard a chance to respond.

The two still had their moments, but they had not necessarily interacted on an 'intimate' basis. For that reason, the first few nights sleeping in the same bed were somewhat awkward, until one night when Tali had pulled herself under the sheets, then pressed herself up against Shepard's side, laying her head on his chest.

"What are you doing?" Shepard asked.

"Pushing boundaries. We can't keep acting like this forever."

"Maybe, if it isn't natural..."

"It was once. We're at peace with the past. We can make it work again. I want it to work again."

"Alright," Shepard said. Slowly, he let his own arm fall across her back and waist. For the first time since the destruction of the fleet, he felt a sense of closeness- not some understanding embrace or a sympathetic hug, but an entanglement with a sense of emotional attachment. As opposed to feeling sorry for her or trying to comfort her, he felt simply happy. He felt at peace with her by his side. He pulled his loosely wrapped arm a little tighter around the girl next to him, and felt her respond by snuggling closer.

Since then, he had slept well and made an unconscious habit of simply lying in the bed and enjoying it for a half hour or so every morning when he woke. Sometimes, Tali had been there, and sometimes she wasn't; the chances of waking up next to the girl were pretty evenly split. They talked about schedules, but Tali's work with the council kept her coming and going at often unpredictable times.

On this occasion, her half of the bed was empty, but Shepard was stirred by something on her night stand. Her helmet sat in its various pieces without the girl anywhere in sight. Slightly alarmed, Shepard pulled himself out of bed and checked the closet, finding her suit still hanging in its respective pieces. The ambassador left the room, checking the view room for her, then the first floor, becoming more and more worried from her absence. He walked out the front door and checked the porch, the last place he could think of to look. As Shepard walked through the frame, he caught sight of Tali down by the river on a small pavilion they had recently finished. He took a moment to let himself calm down before going out to see her.

"Should you be out here without your suit?" Shepard asked as he neared the girl.

"I haven't been out here long. I've been trying to let myself acclimate... it's not like I've never been outside my suit since I've been here. Plus, the council started thinking about clothing to replace suits recently, and, well... they made this for me." She turned to Shepard, revealing what she had dressed herself in. She wore loose black pants and black shoes that didn't fit each toe separately. The shoes cut off around her ankles instead of the boots that almost reached her knees. She wore a mildly form-fitting and elegant blouse over her torso that cut off around her waist in the front and hung almost to her knees in the back. The garment was a dark gray, except for the lining, which was quite close to her signature purple. The collar ran down to a steep and very shallow V above a series of glossy, pearlescent purple buttons that were placed equidistant between the collar and the bottom of her chest. Under her breasts, she still wore the three belts that she had worn on her suit, though they were now purple as well.

On top of everything, she still had her purple shawl draped around her body, though she had the hood pulled down, resting on her shoulders. For the first time, Shepard took a look at her face as it reflected the early morning sun. It gave her pale purple skin a beautiful radiance, though it was still no match for her vivid bioluminescent eyes. Her black hair fluttered gently in the breeze, the longest strands barely brushing her shoulders.

"You look... wonderful," Shepard said after he had taken in the view.

"It's... a little fancy for me, but... I agree. Just the fact that I have clothing I can wear independent of the suit is exciting. I thought I'd celebrate the occasion a little. Come out and take a breath of fresh air, let the wind blow through my hair..."

"I suppose it's a good reason."

"Yeah. But I've also been... Remembering, I guess."

"Remembering?"

"I'm not sure I'd call it 'praying,' but... Every now and then I'll come out and think about them... try to honor them."

"I see. I'm sure they would appreciate it."

"Yeah. But... they're not all I've been thinking about."

"What else is on your mind?"

"Something that I've only been thinking about recently. A question I haven't really thought to ask because I passed it over as... obvious. I don't know."

"What's the question?" She turned her gaze from the river to Shepard.

"Why did you come to Rannoch?" Shepard had to think about the question a little more than he had anticipated. Tali was right to say the answer seemed so obvious to the point where he, too, hadn't thought much about it.

"A few reasons, I guess. The war affected everyone, but it showed us what we could do when we worked together. Just because it ended didn't mean we could or should stop working with each other. Since quarian society took perhaps the biggest blow, I thought I should come to help."

"That's one reason. You said there were a few."

"Alright. As long as we're on the topics of things we never did... The other reason was you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't forgive myself for what I'd done to you. I cared about you. I... I loved you. I don't want you to take it the wrong way, thinking I'm trying to ease my conscience or something... but I came back for you. To help you, support you, get you through in whatever way I could. I was just afraid you might not give me the chance. But you did, and for that, I thank you."

"You... loved me?"

"Yeah. It's been a while since I thought of us in that light. So much has happened..."

"I never knew you _loved _me... I mean, there was attraction, sure, but I never knew you thought of it as _love_..."

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, I just... I think I'm feeling the same way you are. It's been a long time since I thought of us that way."

"It was a mistake I made. Never telling you... I know we had our night, I know we briefly talked about it after we came back from the Omega-four relay, but... it still felt rushed. I didn't want it to feel rushed."

"Yeah. We did push things along a little quickly. We didn't think we would have a whole lot of time, though."

"Yeah. Now, though, I guess we have a little bit more time ahead of us," Shepard said as he turned to Tali. She turned to face him as well.

"I guess we do." They stepped towards each other. Slowly, Shepard raised his hand and placed it on her cheek, gently brushing his thumb back and forth across her smooth skin.

"And while we're on the topic of things we never did, there's a mistake I would like to make sure I don't make again."

"I think I have one of those, too," Tali replied, taking Shepard's free hand in one of hers and placing the other over the hand on her face.

"I love you, Tali."

"I love you too, Shepard." The ambassador pressed his lips against Tali's, and she returned the action without restraint or hesitation. After they separated themselves, the two turned to the view in front of them. Tali wrapped both her arms around one of Shepard's and laid her head on his shoulder. Together, the two of them watched Tikkun continue its ascension into the morning sky over Rannoch, silently and simply enjoying each others presence.


End file.
